Mixed Signals From My Ex

[Regret44]

My ex and I broke up just under a month ago now. She felt it was best because 1. I was having concerns about our future together and 2. She is Muslim and believes we wont work out because muslim women can't marry a non muslim.

We'd been together for 9 months and lived together for 8. We were very close to each other and she loved me dearly and I loved her dearly too. The problem was at times I struggled to show it because I was worried about whether our families being able to mix. I come from a christian family and she comes from a muslim family. I come from a privileged background and she doesn't. There are big contrasts.
I personally am just spiritual and not religious and she said she was the same. Occasionally she would talk of being Muslim but she never prayed or fasted or showed much commitment to the religion at all.

We looked past it all and let love conquer all. However after a discussion with her mother one weekend she felt it was best that we separate and so proceeded a long break up. I begged and promised things would change and she stayed for another 3 weeks but she said she stayed because she didn't want to hurt me and then ultimately she said it was final and we haven't seen each other again.

Those concerns I was having don't matter to me at all anymore and I have so much regret for thinking that way. I love this girl with all my heart and she's all I think about. I have to try my best to keep myself busy just to not think about her. I can't sleep at night because I just lie in bed thinking about her. I cry a lot which is odd for me cos I keep all my emotions inside. I really do picture a great future with us together and I don't know how to get through this.

The problem is we chat to each other almost every day. We agreed to stop talking to each other but then somehow we always just end up talking again.

The latest reason we started talking is cos she's concerned that she might be pregnant, something we were worried about just before we broke up. She was panicking so I assured her that I will be there for her and she calmed down very quickly and she said things like "you're amazing" and "you're too awesome" and that she was overwhelmed with the fact that I was so calm about it and that I wanted to have a baby now with her (I'm 24 and she's 21).

We agreed that she should get a pregnancy test and she said we must do it together. I agreed and she told me when she would be available.
During the week we chatted and she would say things like " I was I was there" and " I miss you all too much man". Us all being me and our pets we had together.
However the pregnancy test plan seems to have been postponed. She's on her period now but are her periods are much shorter than usual which apparently could also mean that she's pregnant. She said she would let me know when to pick her up.

She loved me dearly, she would cry sometimes because she thought I didn't feel the same. Earlier in our relationship I wanted to break up with her and she broke down and almost had a panic attack. She definitely had very strong feelings for me.

I just don't know what to make of all of this. Can someone please tell me what's happening cos I'm on a rollercoaster of hope and then acceptance. Your advice would be much appreciated

[4 ratties]

Well I don't really know what to think of all this either. I'm not religious and don't "follow my parents orders" so I can't begin to understand why people break up solely for that reason. I don't think she is pregnant. If she really thought she was, she would take a test, but she's on her period.. Ummm yeah.
Well since u guys talk all the time anyways, why not talk about where this is heading? If your never getting back together what is the point of all this talking and emotion? Is she just trying to put salt in your wound and keep U under her control and hurting u til she finds her perfect Muslim guy that she can marry?

[Stinger]

Hi,

I think you need to be a bit logical here and ask her whether she wants to be with you or not. Making things clear now will help you to get back to normal. Also, it will be very difficult for you to deal with the situation if she gets married or is about to get married to someone else. So, i suggest you park you emotions aside and think about how you can get introduced in her family. The best thing would be to convince her mom or dad ( who ever she is close to ) and this should sort the situation to a certain extent. Also, this will help you understand whether she is brave enough to introduce you to her family. Just remember one thing if you both love each other then religion should not be a problem.

Hope this helps!

Stinger : )