So basically earlier this year my ex broke up with me. I decided the best way for me to recover was to go down the no contact route which did work for a long time. I then met a girl online, traveled to go met her, ended up having sex, I returned home and realised she wasn't for me and broke up with her. Just after I broke up with her my ex moved back up to near me for Uni.
We decided to meet up for a coffee and to catch up and talk about an event that we booked together while we were still going out (which I thought was a bad idea but good at the same time). It was surprisingly not that awkward and I actually enjoyed it. She has a bf now and was trying to be happy for her for moving on and what not. After we had talked for a while I drove her back to her flat and she said she would like me to meet her flatmate and see her new flat so I decided it couldn't hurt. So went in met her friend, seen her flat and talked some more about what she had been up to and a couple of deep sensitive topics about her parents and health. After all this I drove home feeling that yea we could be friends and was happy for a change.
The next day she text me saying she was seeing her bf and was excited and I wasn't too fazed by this. So just carried out my day as normal happy that I can possibly be friends with my ex since we have a lot in common and just fun to be around. Then night came and I was getting ready for bed and out of nowhere a flood of emotions and feelings came back as I realised that I was going to bed alone while she had a bf to curl up with in bed and just feel loved. Now I don't know how I feel and really got mixed feelings.
I think I may need to cut her out of my life for a bit longer until I feel ready to be her friend. Any one have experience with this or any words of advice? Just feeling pretty damn confused by my feelings.
(I know being friends with ex is frowned upon, I am aware that cutting her out completely would solve this but I can't due to the event in November and I do want to hang out with her on a friend level due to similar interests, I can't not go to the event this is not an option, I want to be JUST her friend but struggling to control my feelings)