Please excuse if this is a little long but I have to give the full story. I need advice wether this is really me or I need to get out.
-Me and boyf get together. I say I want nothing serious. But over time things developed but boyf was STILL messaging other girls including ex's. mostly friendly but some inappropriate. 6 months in he sent something inappropriate to an ex and I explained I couldn't do this anymore. After that things changed. He never sent an inappropriate message again. Said being single for 7 years he was just used to doing this.we have been together for over 2 years now and I know he's a changed man.
-I became very insecure/crazy/jealous. It started to destroy my life I constantly obsessed about where he was/making the relationship the centre of everything.
-he went to counselling with me to make me trust him again.disnt really work and 18 months in we split for 3 months.
-in march this year we got back together. I had become more confident and secure again. He said he still loved me, missed me and in our time apart couldn't even speak to another girl (I inniated a lot of contact thru break up). While we were together he struggled to say I love you. He said a lot of this was because I constantly pushed it in the beginning. Because I had been through all his past I knew that his only girlfriend (6 yrs ago) he used to tell her he loved her all the time. I always wondered why it was easy to her but not me. When we broke up he said he never loved anyone like me but he was frustrated I never trusted him and pushed him away by always playing silly games.
-my insecurities are now worse than ever. I can't even see an attractive girl in the street without panicking he fancies her more. I really don't believe him when he says I'm beautifull. We are moving in together but he WON'T get a joint mortgage. I don't feel like I'm part of his life or plans. I feel like a chore. Maybe he's setting until something better comes along? But then he is a very independent person so I don't know why he would.
I have made the relationship the source of my happiness. I just wish I could be confident with him and enjoy myself and not get angry because I don't feel good enough.
I have posted on here before and I know people are probably hoping il shut up! I just need some straight advice. Is it me or him?? He tells me he loves me now but it just feels like it's to keep me happy.
I just don't understand why he would invest so much time, go to counselling with me? Does he just care a lot and maybe not want to let me go,but just maybe not that in love?
Or is this ALL my insecurities clouding my judgement.
All my friends and family think he's a good guy and he clearly loves me. Why can't I believe it?!!!
I feel so bad about myself I just want to move away from it all. I feel like I'm
Stupid for forgiving him in the beginning and he just thinks I'm weak and a pushover. He dosebt treat me like that but I think deep down he thinks it.
Please tell me should I get out because of him??or is this all my insecurities?
Or could he be purposefully stringing me along because I'm easy and insecure and he knows I'm always here