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Thread: in a pickle

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    Male
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    9

    in a pickle

    OK so me and my girl have been together around 10 months, its been different for both of us than it has been with any of our previous partners, it feels natural and genuine, we've spoken about the future, that we both want it to be with eachother etc. (ps at this time we dont live together)

    She has always recorded wedding/promotional videos for a hobby, recently this became a business that she shares with her sister.

    Their strategy rather than take their time and take a step at a time, is rush in all guns blazing, filming everyday, editing every day, they are VERY good at what they do therefore attract a lot of business, now i havent seen her for a month and a half roughly, this isn't personal, she hasnt "decided" to not see me, we stay in touch everyday but as you can imagine its difficult where we dont get to see eachother, she doesn't even give herself time, she's really let herself go but i know thats down to her work and her ambition which im proud of and accept.

    I stay busy, i work ridiculous hours myself and also run a website part time which is semi-succesful at its current stage, although i cant help but think id love to spend time with her, i've tried to work out a compromise with her but shes just so overwhelmed she cant take anything into consideration, literally everybody in her life has been put on back burn.

    She has free time in october, with which we've planned a weekend away and a few nights in, i just cant help but being OK for a week or so atm and then kinda take it out on her which isnt fair because like she tells me its not like she doesnt miss me or doesnt care about us, its just a sacrifice she has to make atm, which i understand

    Now im not a needy person but where i've been a bit of an asshole a couple of times shes kinda drawn back, i just wanna find a way to make it up to her, baring in mind i have to wait til october to see her or give her anything because i genuinely feel bad for being that way when all she is tryna do is make things better in the long run

    What kind of things can i say to her or do for her?

    The amount of patience i've had to have ....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    This is hardly a relationship if you can't see her until October. Keep in mind that if she's filming weddings she will be busy every weekend during the summer and several of them during the winter. If you're prepared to wait until she's not busy, then you are going to have a lonely relationship so think hard to make sure this is a life you want.

    Now, that being said. Why do you want to be with someone that you never see? How long, once the honeymoon and 'new relationship energy' has worn away do you think you'll be happy with the situation as it now stands?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    As for your actual question: Why are you trying to do anything? If her not being there as a girlfriend/partner is making you lash out and feel neglected, then the best gift you could give her is learn to keep yourself busy and content while you wait it out. My suggestions: Just go and have fun and don't even bring it up. If you're in good standing with each other in another month, buy her a single red rose when you finally get to see her and just enjoy one anothers company.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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