My husband has an unusual fetish that I find hard to understand.
He likes to watch balloons and inflatable toys being trampled on and burst preferably with stiletto heels.
I have tried to do this but I find it somewhat disturbing.
However this is not my main issue.
He downloaded some MP3's the other day and said I could make a copy of them for myself so I fired up his computer.
That's when I found his badly hidden porn stash. Over 100 paid for videos that go back several years. I watched a couple and they are all young (I am mid 40's) and sometimes naked women indulging in his fantasy.
I asked if he ever watched or downloaded porn and he said he didn't. So he's lied to me.
We've been together 8 years and married for 7.
When we got married I knew he liked heels and balloons, but I didn't realise that his fantasy is as twisted as it appears in some of those videos.
I don't know what to think.
I feel he has been unfaithful to me as he masturbates over these videos. To make matters worse I can't believe he paid for them!! It was easy to find the site they came from as some of them are tagged with it. He has spent a fortune!! Not only do I feel he has been unfaithful, it feels as though he has been using prostitutes for his pleasure. My self esteem is now rock bottom and I definitely feel I can't trust him.
I don't know where to go from here.