How often should two people see each other?

[cyanara]

My girlfriend (of 4 months) only makes time to see me, on average, twice a week. One date is typically sharing a meal - so ~ 2 hours - and the other is more of a day-long affair (~ 8 hours). Neither is planned more than 24 hours in advance. And, to clarify, she prioritizes all manner of social events above seeing me; so it isn’t as though she’s bogged down with obligations and doesn‘t have the time. On days we don’t have a date, we spend 0-10 minutes communicating., which starkly contrasts with the amount I communicated with previous girlfriends. I told her we need to communicate more, and see each other more consistently, but she did not agree. I haven’t been in that many relationships, so I’m not sure what is healthy or normal. And that brings me to my question. I realize what is healthy/normal depends on the couple, but I would like to know if I’m crazy for thinking we aren’t seeing each other enough, or if this sounds more like a case of me being overly needy. I've been thinking about ending the relationship over this, but if this is what is normal and about what I should expect from any other relationship, then I need to just accept it.

[basilandthyme]

I think you could easily find another girl who would be keen to spend far more time with you.

[bubble]

I would definitely want to spend more time than that with my boyfriend of 4 months, so to me that's not normal. Like you said, it depends on each individual couple, but you should always find someone who has similar views to yours on these things. Otherwise you'll be unhappy about not seeing her enough and if you force more time together out of her, she'll be unhappy about feeling suffocated. So my advice would be try to find someone more compatible with you in that area. You did have girlfriends before who wanted to spend more time with you and you will again.

[4 ratties]

I think you could easily find another girl who would be keen to spend far more time with you.

I 2nd this. Whether it's right or wrong, you're not happy right? 4 months in and already not happy with a major relationship subject-communication, is not a good sign. You're probably wasting your time and will continue to be unhappy. No you are not needy at all. You guys barely talk and hang out.

[okwhat2013]

Yeah, not normal at all. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are even her boyfriend. More like "one" of the guys she is currently talking too. You saying you haven't been in many relationships and by the tone of your post, it sounds like you are being walked over. Basically tell her look I have a life, if you want to go out w me I need some advance scheduling so I can fit you in. You are there whenever she needs, like she blows the whistle and you come running. It is very unattractive to women, and is a total fail in the early stages of a relationship. Good luck man.

[TheEvilJester]

I have to agree that this does not seem normal to me either. I mean, if that works for both members of the relationship, then that is just fine. Nothing wrong with it. Obviously, though, it doesn't work for you. It sounds a little strange to me too. I mean, when you eventually meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you are intending to do just that... spend the rest of your life with them. How is this girl ever supposed to find somebody to spend the rest of her life with if she has been with somebody for 4 months and barely spends much time with them at all? Usually, early on in the relationship is when you tend to spend a lot of time together, and the biggest problem you have is learning to balance out your life and not spend TOO much time together.

I would say you should talk to her about how you feel, but it sounds like you already have. So, I hate to give such inconclusive advice, but your best bet would be to do what you feel is best for you. If you aren't getting what you want/need out of your relationship with her, talk to her about that. If she cannot/will not offer a more serious relationship, then maybe it is time to move on. But, ultimately, that is for you to decide. This is becoming practically my catch phrase here, but...

Good luck.

[HeartIsAching]

You've said she prioritizes you below other things... so what's your question? You aren't happy not being a priority, and she's happy to leave you as a low priority. Obviously this is a boundary issue.

Time to move on. Find a girl that makes you a priority.

Frankly, I think that's a pretty good metric to whether a relationship has potential. How much of a priority is your partner to you? How much of a priority are you to your partner?

Couples that truly love each other prioritize the other one first.

[YLvanna]

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[HeartIsAching]

You've been reported, YLvanna.