“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Anyone need a hug?
Saying he should doesn't mean it's going to happen.....it's a matter of personal choice. Them's the breaks.
I see where you're going Searock, but I'm not even convinced that he's morally obligated. I have real issues with women having full reproductive choice and a man having no choice whatsoever.
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
But he never even tried to convince her to have an abortion - he actually acted all encouraging and caring during her pregnancy (at least according to what OP told us).
Also, unless she tricked him and let him believe that she was using oral contraceptives when in fact she wasn't (I wouldn't put it past her), he has the same responsibility for the beginning of the pregnancy as she does.
from OPs post dated 26 Feb 13
>>I was pregnant a couple of years ago and I terminated my pregnancy, which was his idea. I still regret my decision and i feel bad. It was hard for me to forgive myself. He wants me to do it again I think but I cant. I wont. I hate him for denying our babies. <<
He made it clear from the start that he didn't want a child with her. She knew from way back then that it would be an uphill battle.
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
Oh, I missed that post, thanks for quoting it. In that case, I still think he's an asshole but I can see why most of you are saying he has no obligations to be part of the child's life. It's so sad for the child to have been born from such a stupid mother and such an asshole father. I hope he has grandparents or aunts/uncles that are decent persons and are willing to take care of him (even though they certainly aren't obligated to do so).
He's not an asshole, he's an idiot for not wearing a damn condom. If he doesn't want kids then he should get a vasectomy.....
He is so an asshole... but he's also an idiot.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Rules: #1 Never trust a man that cheats on his wife/GF.
#2 Never trust a woman.
I think he does have an obligation to his child. Forget about the circumstances. If you have a baby with someone, yes you are legally financially responsible for them. Imo, any man or woman should also feel an obligation to be there financially and emotionally for their kids. Both are equally responsible. You can't just say, im married so I will financially be there but im not going to be a part of the kids life. Yes, h has choice but its not acceptable and it doesn't make it right. It's not about anybody else. You break up with people not kids.
Nicki, you shouldn't expect for his wife to accept this. If my husbands mistress ho came in my face with that bullshit, i'll probably walk you like the bitch (female dog) that you are. You need to stay in your lane.
I do think that he should have a relationship with the kid and he is morally responsible. He can keep it seperate but still be there and be a good father. I don't get how people can have a kid and not be there as if they don't exist.
Last edited by Starnique; 25-09-13 at 11:42 PM.