So she's not a virgin anymore...

[somethinglol]

You are on your way to become a Creep. You know, those guys who place value on women depending on how many sexual partners they've had and whatnot. You should stop thinking that way right now. It's ok to be sad (if you wanted to be her "first" as much as you wanted her to be your "first"), but it's NOT ok to be "disgusted" and "disappointed" at her just because she did a perfectly normal, perfectly natural thing. Most people are going to have sex with different persons in their lives, it's just the way it is. And there's nothing wrong with it, nothing disgusting or disappointing about it. You talk of her having sex as if she had killed a puppy or something. She just had sex, it's no big deal - if anything, you should be glad in case you ever do get together, because she won't be afraid of feeling pain and all that. It will be less awkward than it would have been if you two had both been virgins. It's a good thing.

Just ask her out already.

Well, personally, thinking someone ****s this girl makes me a bit disgusted, as an action it naturally isn't disgusting. And it makes me disappointed because it wasn't me who was with her. Of course sex is natural thing, and there's nothing wrong in it, I'm not saying there would be, she has all the rights in this world to have it, it's good people can enjoy each others, but for ME, this feels absolutely shit. I mean, I have liked her so long, from the times no one drank alcohol or smoked, when she was quiet and shy. I kinda felt sorry for her, and started talking to her, became kinda friends with her. Never made any suggestions I like her (well, once actually). Thanks for that, I never came any more closer with her.

You are taking my words too literally, I'm not good telling shit like this on English.

And no, I'm not going to ask her out, because I have barely talked her since May. Maybe when I get through this, find some sort of way to handle this, and become closer with her again.

[HeartIsAching]

Well, I have yet to meet a girl who put it on her to-do list right under "Get shampoo and conditioner". But I suppose it's possible.

I'm married to one. Wife decided it was time, who she wanted to lose it to, called him up and arranged it.

[dickriculous]

Break up with her? I have never even been with her...

He's right about going for other women for awhile though. Your lack of experience is glaringly obvious and is the one and only thing that's ****ing with your mind right now.

You need to stop bringing up the fact that she is no longer a virgin, that has nothing to do with anything. It is completely irrelevant and not even worth mentioning. YOU are the only factor here, and your lack of experience is the ONLY thing that's doing this to you. Get your dick wet a few times with other women and what I'm saying here will make sense, and this problem you're having will be no more. Right now you're a prisoner of your own self-imposed limitations which are fueled by extreme insecurity which is fueled by having zero experience. I was the same way before I started having sex. I was the same way with working out and doing martial arts before I actually started doing them. Hell, I was the same way with jerking off before I ever started doing that, and that's something that you look at and go "wtf? How do you fukk THAT one up?"

You gotta expand your horizons bro.

[somethinglol]

He's right about going for other women for awhile though. Your lack of experience is glaringly obvious and is the one and only thing that's ****ing with your mind right now.

You need to stop bringing up the fact that she is no longer a virgin, that has nothing to do with anything. It is completely irrelevant and not even worth mentioning. YOU are the only factor here, and your lack of experience is the ONLY thing that's doing this to you. Get your dick wet a few times with other women and what I'm saying here will make sense, and this problem you're having will be no more. Right now you're a prisoner of your own self-imposed limitations which are fueled by extreme insecurity which is fueled by having zero experience. I was the same way before I started having sex. I was the same way with working out and doing martial arts before I actually started doing them. Hell, I was the same way with jerking off before I ever started doing that, and that's something that you look at and go "wtf? How do you fukk THAT one up?"

You gotta expand your horizons bro.

Having no experience doesn't really bother me, but having LESS experience than this girl does. I have always felt kinda protective for her, I don't know why, and being kinda so much lower bothers me like ****. I mean, you can call me a sexist or chauvinist all you want, but that's just how I feel right now.

E: though I liked this post, thank you.

[searock]

Dick is right, you are completely inexperienced and this is why you are obsessing about this: any more experienced person would not see this as a problem. The fact that she had sex doesn't change anything at all.

Why are you even obsessing over her then, if you don't even want to ask her out? Getting "closer" to her isn't going to help, if you are interested in a girl you need to let her know as soon as possible, there's no point trying to "make friends". You are both going to get hurt: she's going to feel betrayed once she realizes that you only tried to make friends with her in hopes of one day asking her out romantically, and you are going to get hurt because she is likely going to reject you precisely because you only tried to make friends with her for that purpose, instead of being honest since the beginning.

Don't try to make friends with a girl you are attracted to. Ask her out, or forget about her.

[somethinglol]

You don't even know her... you're just infatuated with your idea of her, that is based on what you have seen and heard about her, but you don't know her. Dick is right, you are completely inexperienced and this is why you are obsessing about this: any more experienced person would not see this as a problem. The fact that she had sex doesn't change anything at all.

I do know her. Well, not as good anymore as before her relationship, but I know her pretty well. Okay, that's a wrong word. I know her, not well though.

And I see your point, and understand it. I don't feel any as shit anymore as I felt last night when I started this thread, but I still feel.

[searock]

I do know her. Well, not as good anymore as before her relationship, but I know her pretty well. Okay, that's a wrong word. I know her, not well though.

Yeah I edited that part out, I thought you said you had barely spoken to her, when in fact you said you have barely spoken to her since the beginning of her relationship. I edited my post.

[cbad]

Just wanted to throw in my two cents on this.

First of all, I totally get the OP. Maybe he's too polite to say this, or maybe he doesn't agree with me, but I think it's horrible how people are so blase about sex. Yes, yes, I know, I'm a prude and a loser. OK, now we're past that. Whenever people talk about virginity these days, it's always like "no big deal." Maybe not to you guys, but it is to some people. It's funny how some women will say things like "I didn't even care about the first guy I had sex with" or "it's better to be the *second* guy because with the first guy it's just painful and awkward." Listen, that's just lame rationalization. That's like when people say "you want to go out with a woman in her 40s because then she's been around and she knows what she wants and she won't play games." Uh, OK, but I have a strong feeling you're only saying that because coincidentally you're a woman in your 40s and you're trying to talk yourself up and nobody is interested.

For me, it's tough to ignore when a woman has been with someone else, and I'm much older than somethinglol. I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine, where I said "hey, would it bother you if you knew your wife had sex in the past with other guys?" And he said what people on this thread are saying "no, what did you expect?" OK, listen, it may be the case that most people *have* had sex with other people, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother you. I said "OK, so you'd be fine if she had sex with three other guys?" And he said "yeah, that's normal." And I go "OK, what about twenty?" And he tried to be all tough and goes "it could be five hundred, who cares?" Who cares? You'd like to think you shared something special with this person and basically most of society reduces it to "you just happen to be the penis who is in her right at this moment. If it doesn't work out, then some other guy will come along and put his penis in her and not mind that you were there before *him*. And if that bothers you, then you're just a little kid."

[HeartIsAching]

Do you perhaps drive a lifted pickup truck?

[cbad]

Do you perhaps drive a lifted pickup truck?

If you're talking to me, I'd rather be a guy driving a pickup truck than someone married to a woman who called up a guy to lose her virginity to.

[dickriculous]

Having no experience doesn't really bother me, but having LESS experience than this girl does. I have always felt kinda protective for her, I don't know why, and being kinda so much lower bothers me like ****. I mean, you can call me a sexist or chauvinist all you want, but that's just how I feel right now.

E: though I liked this post, thank you.

Whether it's no experience or less experience that is the issue, it's still a matter of experience, which means everything I said still applies. You might find that once you have gained some experience it no longer bothers you having less experience as long as you have some experience.

Being sexist or chauvinist are YOUR ideas, not mine. My thoughts are that chasing other pussy for awhile will bring your self-imposed problems to an end, or at least mitigate them. Some people might call THAT thought a sexist one. Makes no difference to me. I'm not telling you how to be politically correct, I'm telling you how to evolve.

[pcmaster]

That makes sense cbad. If I touch girls vagina doesnt matter that theres something special between us. Its just animal instict to please yourself with that piece of meat. Might be just a doctor prescribed protein injetion to a woman.

If a girl is special then I want much more than touch her pussy. Touch her heart, connect with that beautiful mind, take her soul and take rest of her life. Because in the end of the day Im much more than just a dick. I have much more to give than just a penis, sex and love are two diferent things.

[cbad]

Whether it's no experience or less experience that is the issue, it's still a matter of experience, which means everything I said still applies. You might find that once you have gained some experience it no longer bothers you having less experience as long as you have some experience.

Being sexist or chauvinist are YOUR ideas, not mine. My thoughts are that chasing other pussy for awhile will bring your self-imposed problems to an end, or at least mitigate them. Some people might call THAT thought a sexist one. Makes no difference to me. I'm not telling you how to be politically correct, I'm telling you how to evolve.

See, the problem is you're just thinking with your dick right now. The reason he feels the way he does about this girl is because part of what attracted him to her was her innocence. That's gone. You're like "yeah, just go out and bang some other pussy, you'll evolve." Into what? People are so messed up these days that they even get turned on by thinking about some other guy having sex with their wife. It's like they can't just care about their wife or girlfriend unless some other guy is violating her and degrading her. That's how pathetic people are.

To the OP: Yeah, at some point you'll have to come to grips with it because, unfortunately, most people have had sex with other people by the time you meet them. But that doesn't mean that it shouldn't bother you or that you should not care about it. And don't try to "match" their level of skankiness like "OK, she's had sex with some random guy, so I'll just have sex with some random girl and even it up and then I'm sure I'll have a fresh perspective on it." That's just that dude rationalizing his sexual promiscuity.

[cbad]

That makes sense cbad. If I touch girls vagina doesnt matter that theres something special between us. Its just animal instict to please yourself with that piece of meat. Might be just a doctor prescribed protein injetion to a woman.

If a girl is special then I want much more than touch her pussy. Touch her heart, connect with that beautiful mind, take her soul and take rest of her life. Because in the end of the day Im much more than just a dick. I have much more to give than just a penis, sex and love is two diferent things.

Agreed. I think what bothers the OP is that he feels like he has genuine emotions and feelings for this girl and it was something that she didn't share with this other guy or that the other guy certainly didn't have for her. Basically, like he and you say, they just had meaningless sex. And believe it or not, that can hurt someone if you care about them.

[searock]

The reason he feels the way he does about this girl is because part of what attracted him to her was her innocence. That's gone.

Perfect example of the Creeps I was talking about a couple of posts ago. Having sex has NOTHING to do with a person's "innocence". Having sex does NOT make a person less "innocent".

It's funny how some women will say things like "I didn't even care about the first guy I had sex with" or "it's better to be the *second* guy because with the first guy it's just painful and awkward." Listen, that's just lame rationalization.

Rationalization of what exactly? There's nothing to rationalize. Sex does get loads better with practice, and in most cases, the first times are awkward and painful. Nothing to rationalize about, it's just the way it is.

You're like "yeah, just go out and bang some other pussy, you'll evolve." Into what? People are so messed up these days that they even get turned on by thinking about some other guy having sex with their wife. It's like they can't just care about their wife or girlfriend unless some other guy is violating her and degrading her. That's how pathetic people are.

LOL, that escalated quickly. Dickriculous is just saying that OP should get more experience if he wants to understand/realize that sex really isn't the huge deal he thinks it is right now. This has nothing to do with wanting to watch his wife being degraded and violated by another man!

To the OP: Yeah, at some point you'll have to come to grips with it because, unfortunately, most people have had sex with other people by the time you meet them. But that doesn't mean that it shouldn't bother you or that you should not care about it.

If he's an emotionally healthy human being, it shouldn't bother him and he shouldn't care about it. And there's nothing "unfortunate" about it, either.

And don't try to "match" their level of skankiness like "OK, she's had sex with some random guy, so I'll just have sex with some random girl and even it up and then I'm sure I'll have a fresh perspective on it." That's just that dude rationalizing his sexual promiscuity.

Since when is having sex synonymous with being skanky? Since never, is the answer. You have issues.