So, here goes....
I met with my ex in December 2011, and after four months, and a whirlwind romance, i moved in with her moving 200 miles to be with her. At first, all was well, but the cracks started to appear, where we found that we argued, yet we also had those really good times too. A mixture of the two i think.
We split up in October 2012, and i moved back to where i originally lived. Christmas came and went ( a miserable Christmas i can tell you), and in the early part of January, we got back in touch, and she said she wanted me back. Refusing to give up the flat i live in, i went to see her where she lived, and i would spend weeks there, only coming home to deal with office based work etc. The thing is, during this time, i found out that she was on dating sites, and had joined a dating site in October 2011. I wasn't happy, but i tried to put that behind me. Over the course of four months, she had me digging up gardens, laying carpets, painting and decorating, taking her two children to and from school etc etc. Oh, i didn't mention that i am a heart attack patient with severe kidney disease? Yup, she had me doing all that which would cause me untold amounts of pain. She would complain when i was feeling physically ill that i didn;t want to take her and the kids to the park, or i needed to spend time working day to day on the laptop (a source of my being able to earn a living).
In the end, we split again in May this year, and we haven't seen each other since. We have spoken on the phone, and she told me she wanted to be friends, and nothing more. She even told me all about some bloke she had sex with one night, and tried to ask me advice about it?!. She also admitted to me that she never actually loved me, even though i loved her a great deal.
So here's the dilemma... i love her. I have always loved her, we may never have gotten on all the time and there were issues, but even so, i still love her immensely and i would do anything to have her in my life. My heart is truly broken and i'm finding it hard to cope with it on a day to day basis.
How do i get over this? How do i move on when i have such strong feelings for this person? Any help, guidance and words of advice are appreciated.