Hi,
i need some help with my current situation with my (ex)boyfriend.
We started dating about 8 month ago and it started awesome.
we live about 2 hours apart and only see eachother on the weekends so we didnt really get to spend a lot of time together... plus is working hours are a little diffcult.
NOW my problem...
it all started about 3 month ago. i found out that he was texting with other women... and it was not just texting, it was suggestive comments and stuff like that. it hurt really bad. he didnt really know what to say so i left and went home. after 2 days of texting and him calling me one single time (he tried to act like nothing happened) he didnt talk to me about it anymore... then he updated his picture on a website we met on. so i told him that if that is more important than talking to me, i know whats going on. after that we had no contact anymore.
a couple of weeks later i went out with my friends and met a guy. i met him 1 more time after that and we had sex. i thought it would help me over the feeling of not being good enough for my ex boxfriend... but of course it didnt. the guy i met was nice and everything but i was not interested at all, so i didnt have a lot of contact with him after that. he texted every now and then but if i did i only replied very short and not interested - like small talk.
beginning of last month my ex boyfriend all of a sudden started texting me that he misses me and had things sorted out in his life and that we need to talk, that he loves me and so on.... after a couple of days i replied and we talked about everything, he explained that he texted with these women (he didnt meet any of them he said) because he got so use to doing it in the way they did for years that he didnt realize that it was inappropriate while having a relationship. he told me that he deleted them all and is no longger interested in any contact with them and that he realized that he does not want to be without me anymore.
I told him that my bigger problem is that he didnt talk to me for more than a month and he promised that it would not happen again.
After that we met and everything was ok again somehow.... untill yesterday.
While i was sleeping he took my phone and did read my messeges. so he also found the ones that this guy sent me. he texted him and left. i called him in the morning and when he finally answered we talked about it and he said that he understands why it happened but that he is mad about me staying in contact with that guy. we only talked for about 10 min. then i had to go to work and i told him that i would let him know when im back so we could talk.. he said i should not cry worry and think about it too much.
while i was at work we texted a little more about it... i did send him the messeges i wrote the guy (that i dont want any contact anymore and that i should have told him that im seeing my boyfriend again and not just wait for it to resolve it self by a lack of interest). all my boyfriend cared about was the stuff that guy wrote, about still wanting to date me if it doesnt work out with my boyfriend. of course i do understand that he cant easily forget that i had sex with another man while we were not together.
when i came home i texted him that i was at home, after that i called him but he didnt answer the phone... since then he has been online on his whatsapp about a 100 times.... no call no text nothing.
im going crazy.... on one side i want to talk to him but i dont want to call or write again... obviously he doesnt want to talk again. but if he does his disappearing thing again, i cant handle that... i cant comunicate like that or have a relationship like that.... i dont know how much time i "have" to give him to think about it.... i do need help with this please
(sorry that its so much... but i dont know how to explain it shorter)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWERS AND HELP!!!