She's seeing someone else but I want her back

[raynesummers]

This girl and I were seeing each other for a few months and she thought I still messed with my ex so she started seeing someone else out of spite.
We had a dramatic fallout and stopped talking for a few days but we still like each other, only I feel that the fallout pushed her closer to the other girl she started seeing.

I want to reverse the hands on our relationship but I'm a bit unsure of how to effectively do it. I tried to talk to her and she didn't want to talk so I gave her space and was about to be done with everything. But then over the weekend we seen each other at a party. we ended up hooking up and I was upset because I just gave in so easily, but when we seen each other and drinks were involved, I couldn't fight the urge.

The next day, we were together with a few friends and she seemed to be texting the other girl because she was acting like she was in lala land, I could just be paranoid, but I started withdrawing myself a bit. She flirted around with me but, I would noticed that she would come around me and then withdraw herself too at times. I don't know what's that about.

Later on, she asked for a financial favor because we really are friends aside from the fact that we slightly dated each other and I reluctantly said yes being skeptical of slipping into my habit of giving into her needs and wants. When we met up, she brought up the other night about the party and didn't have ill feelings about it. She just said it was a wild party with a smile. I didn't know what to think so I just said yup.

Anyway I don't want her to think I'm all on her and she could just use me anytime she wants even though we're friends, but I don't want her to get with that other girl and forget about me either. I want to take control of this thing I'm just wondering what my next move should be to make her want me the way she use to and forget about the other girl she's seeing?

I know it will take time to get things back to how we were because she doesn't really trust me much, but I'm willing to do what I need to do to get things back, move out of this friend zone, and make this other girl a non-factor because she is now in the way of what we had going.

[Wakeup]

First off don't be her doormat. Don't lend her money and Don't keep doing her when you're not in a relationship. You enable her to not have to change a thing about the two of you when you let her have you without commitment, shit you even pay her to disrespect you for goodness sakes.

I suggest two options.

1. Go zero contact and forget about her because she clearly is not as into you as you are into her... hense why she is so quick to be with someone else.
2. You tell her outright that you want to be exclusively with her and is she willing to be in that type of relationship with you. If her answer is 'no' then see No. 1

Good luck.

[thompkevin]

Hey,

The easiest way to get control will be to stop all contact with her. Then after a few weeks, you can call her and meet her again. It seems that she is just playing the field and she knows that you are desperate to get her back. She knows she has all the power and she is enjoying the position. Also, here is a more detailed guide on how to go about it. http://getyourexbackpermanently.com