My Boyfriend listens to music about his ex every day. Help?

[RachelViolet]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months. Right after we started dating, I noticed that he has a music playlist on Spotify that he created called “I Miss her” which (I assume) is about his ex-girlfriend. We are friends on Facebook, so I have been getting constant notifications that he is listening to these songs nearly every day. Not only has he been listening to really depressing “I miss my ex” music during our entire relationship, but he is still adding new songs to the playlist. This music is about still being in love with an old lover, longing to give the relationship another try, etc. I finally decided to confront him about it last week. I sent him a message which said that I noticed that he is listening to some pretty depressing music, and if he is not over his ex, he should take time to completely heal before starting another relationship. He said that he broke up with his ex a year and a half ago and he is “completely over her “ and he “realized that being with her is not the kind of life that I want”. This made me feel a little better and I noticed that I don’t get any Facebook notifications that he is listening to this music anymore. However, I logged into Spotify this morning and I noticed that he is still constantly listening to this playlist. He just turned the Facebook notification feature off. In fact, he added another song about being heartbroken to this playlist three days ago. I am not sure if I am overreacting, but I feel upset. A guy who is “completely over” his ex wouldn’t listen to songs about missing her every day, would he? I don’t know what to say to him (if I should even say anything), or what to do.

[pcmaster]

Well its been a long time but maybe this kind of music still touches him and sounds better. It could be pretty much true that he dont wana be together with ex. Just maybe hes still a bit broken and cant realy apreciate you as much as you deserve. You shouldnt worry as long as hes good to you.

[smackie9]

Revisting those memories of heartache isn't healthy...it's like he is obsessed. Tell him to stop lying and there isn't room for the 3 of you in this relationship. Then give him some space to think about it.

[LadyRadiator2.0]

I agree that this isn't good in a relationship

[DalM0m]

Ask him. If he listens to the songs because they remind him of her, your relationship may have been over before it started because you were rebound girl. If he just likes the songs ask him to retitle the play list.

[smackie9]

I say time to have an in person conversation about this "shrine" in memory of his ex. Tell him that you see he has skirted around the topic because you know he is still listening to it. Don't be confrontational, or demanding, just ask questions about how he feels when he listens to it, what need it fulfills, and that is concerns you that he needs to listen to it constantly, why is he trying to hide the fact that he is listening to it. Express concern, that you see it as him clinging onto her memory with this music. See what he says.