What to do about my love of ex girlfriend

[fxsxtxr]

so. my girlfriend who i was living with broke up with me amonth ago. she moved all of her stuff out of our apartment within 3 days. i am completely madly in love with this girl. the reason she gave was that she thought i was verbally abusive to her a couple of times and she fell out of love with me. I was NOT verbally abusive to her. everyone i knows and knows the whole situation says i was not and that she just took it all way too sensitively. now i do admit that it doesnt matter what i think and what others think its about what she thinks. which is enough to make me now understand that even though we both knew each other for a couple years before the relationship that i cant talk to her in the relationship the same way i did out of it. in the relationship i have to talk to her in a much more loving and nourishing way. now, after the break up and this was made known to me by her i did all the promising to change, begging, pleading, apologizing, write long letters about my love for her that is typical. bad choice to do but yes typical. she ended up with someone a little more than a week after she broke up with me. so she is with a new boyfriend now. i talked to her about 2 weeks ago and she said that she still loves me just not the same. and that she wants to stay friends with me. what i have noticed is that she never contacts me first. if i contact her we talk as friends. we have hung out a couple times since the break up which was very hard for me. so.....question is, what do i do? how do i prove to her how much she means to me, how much i love her and i need her. i have done alot of soul searching the past month and tried to figure out if it was her or having her that i wanted back. i have came to the conclusion that it is her. i can live without her but i dont want to. she is the one for me.

any advice would be absolutely amazing, especially from any ladies.

thank you
jim

[smackie9]

For one thing she didn't leave because she felt you were verbally abusive.....that's a lie. She met dude before you two broke up, and made up the excuse to make you look like the bad guy. She's been unhappy in your relationship for awhile....feelings do not change over night my friend....she been wanting out. This being friends thing is to pacify you because she feels guilty for dumping you. It's mean and cruel to be giving you false hope like this. Look at her actions and stop listening to her words....she's all of a sudden with another guy...does that say "I still love you"???? no it does not. Your heart has pulled the wool over on reality.....time to face it.

[FAndrews]

actions often speak louder than words, i would agree with smackie9 on this, shame she couldn't have just been upfront about her actions.

[fxsxtxr]

i would agree with you but theres lingering things that are in my head. after i found out she was seeing someone we had a conversation about our relationship where she admitted it was not all me. that she was to blame in the relationship going bad as well. i asked her how she could end up with her friend so soon after we broke up. she said that he treared her the way she was supposed to be treated. which to me is a shot at me and also kinda seems to me that hes just a rebound, that she was upset over our break up and he was just there. i also asked if she still had feelings for me she said she did but not enough to rekindle our old relationship yet.

[smackie9]

My explanation still stands.

[Benzariah]

If her love for you was as strong as she made it seem, then she would have done everything in her power to keep the relationship. If you have hurt her verbally, then she would have talked to you about it or shown some sort of sign to let you know that she's mad/upset due to your verbal "abuse". As bad as it may seem, she made up an excuse for you to be guilty, when in fact she's guilty. She didn't want to hurt your feelings by being honest with you so she pointed out something wrong that you did and you, yourself, claim that you haven't been verbally abusive towards her. If she really had strong feelings towards you, she wouldn't have gotten into a relationship so fast. Just as smackkie9 stated, she probably met him while she was in a relationship with you.

Often times, we are blinded by our significant other, but open your eyes and realize the truth. She can say things such as she still loves you, but her actions don't show any sign of love. If she was so upset over your breakup, she would have called you and tried to get back with you, but she didn't.

[DalM0m]

she "fell out of love" with you for what ever reason. Why doesn't matter has much as the fact that for her, it's over. Her statement that she still loves you but wants to stay friends is BS. She means well. She's sorry that you are hurting but she has no intention of taking you back as a boyfriend. You have to move on because she has.

[Karan]

I been in the same boat as u brother 2 months ago. Exactly same thing, find ur close friends it is going to hurt like hell. I still love her I would send her txts about how I feel but I get no reply. Just take ur time relax do things to take ur mind of her. It wasn't ur all ur fault. There is no such thing as one true love cuz they all screw u up at point in time. Find someone to talk to. Go to the gym punch the hell out of punching bag. Find ways to relieve ur feelings. Ur in for a treat and it's not a nice one. Crap hurts. We just keep moving.

[mollymari]

Okay, female here. Oh man. I applaud your sincerity but after reading your words, the story, I'm shaking my head here. Let me start off by saying, I'm sorry your going through this stage; it is NOT easy.
i need to be straight with you. Some brute truth and it's going to hurt, I'm sorry.

Darlin, if this girl shacked up with some new man already, chances are high that this started awhile back, perhaps even while she was still with you. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm wrong, could very well be but I am female, have female friends and know a little about what a girl does after a break up. Normally, it takes allot longer to jump into another relationship and smackie is right, she's trying to let you down easy and in the process , hurting you even more. You need to understand, she could be doing the whole 'let's be friends' thing, for her own self, so she feels better for ripping out your heart and placing it on a plate in front of you.

It isn't easy having your heart ripped out but you WILL get through this and it will take t i m e

She has not being straight up honest with you about why she has left.. The whole 'you verbally abused me' well, bit of a cop out don't you think? everyone argues, it's a matter of how well you do it and without the low blows right. So yeah, her excuses seem rather weak. Again, only you two will truly know what's going on here.

Man, sounds like you have to move on here. Ask yourself a question, are you willing to allow yourself to be treated this way? You may love love love this girl, and yes, she may be the cat's meow in your memory. Just don't give her the impression your willing to tolerate this poor treatment. For goodness sake, stand up for yourself man.

wish you well, and good luck. I'd try going out and do some socialization with new people; get some new perspective here.