NOTE:I am 29, she is 25.
PAST:
I went on a date with a girl overseas. Only spent 4 some hours together, but it went great! We continued dating online over the distance for about 2 months. She is very open and honest about her life so she tells me basically everything. In 3 weeks from meeting me she met this new guy locally who she started seeing regularly telling me he is just a friend. I told her I will visit her for a weekend and booked a flight and I also booked her a flight 2.5 months ahead. She was excited and waiting for me. This new "friend" bugged me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. One day, 10 days remaining till my flight to see her, she texted me saying that she no longer sees this guy as just a "friend" and does not know what to do. I cancelled my flight, took vacation time, skipped school and went to see her booking a new flight ASAP, because I knew I would lose her if I don't.
Even though, she was clearly more emotionally attached to her "friend" than me, she was probably feeling guilty and gave me a chance when I got there. She told her "friend" that she would not be able to live with a clear conscience if she just dumped me and therefore she is going to give me a chance. This guy, however, told her he will wait for her. I won her heart back in 2 days of being together with her. We spent two weeks of total spending every minute together, including nights and got intimate eventually. Her "friend" kept on texting her and she would respond while being in front of me and when I would be in the shower, she would call him. She was feeling bad for him. When there was a time for me to go back, she told me she can promise me again to wait for me like before, wait for the flight I booked which at this point was about 2 months ahead, but she is not sure she will be able to keep her promise, because she feels very lonely and needs to have someone close...
PRESENT:
Realizing the situation, I modified the flight 2 weeks ahead, leaving her time to wrap things up with her personal life and work. She was ok to leave everything and come over to stay with me permanently. While waiting for her arrival, she told me she is going to see her "friend" once again and asked me not to be mad. She explained that she needs to see him in person to explain her choice and clarify her feelings towards me. I was uncomfortable with her going to meet him in person, but I tried my hardest to understand her and got over this. Expecting that this was her last time seeing him in person, I was greatly disappointed soon. Few days later she told me she was walking past his workplace and texted him to come out and say hello. Well, that turned into a dinner and him taking care of her by giving her ride and taking her to do her business and then taking her back home.
I told her I am really hurt and upset of such behavior. She was surprised I was feeling that way. I explained to her, that this is hurting me emotionally and asked her to stop seeing this guy. She made no promises, but told me just like before I went to see her for 2 weeks that I have nothing to worry about, that I should just trust her and she definitely sees him as just a friend again and brought the fact that she is leaving everything behind and coming to be with me permanently, so that should assure me. That was not assuring to me at all and not any less frustrating and I told her that. I also asked her to put herself in my shoes and when she did, she admitted that she would be super jealous, furious and would explode if I did something like this to her. Meanwhile, I kept my cool and never raised my voice when discussing this issue with her.
Recently I read that what she did to me is considered emotional affair, because I was unaware that cheating could not only be a physical act but also an emotional. It seems that currently she is slipping back to the old times and it's making me worried.
WHAT TO DO NEXT?:
Since I asked her nicely not to meet this guy again, and explained my feelings to her, what should I do if she tells me she met this guy again?
She continues texting him and calling him and having him on facebook, by the way. Should I tolerate her relationship with him as long as it's not in person?