Originally Posted by
Emilieya
1) The last time we hung out he was kind of playing with my hands and he put his fingers inside my fingers like he was going to hold my hand (but then I kind of pulled my hand away because I had told him that I moved on so I didn't want him to feel that pressure again)
Reaching to hold your hand doesn't mean he loves you... it was simply a prelude to coming onto you and eventually leading to sex (which it did according to you in your other thread) Its banal and means nothing.
2) We had a friends with benefits relationship and he asked me 2 or 3 times if I slept with another guy. But the way he asked was like it was bothering him, like his tone of voice changed.
He was probably gauging whether or not he should be worried about catching something from you and whether of not he should wear a rubber.
3) I woke up in the night and he was cuddling me
A comfort thing. Nothing more. You were there, you'd do for the moment he wanted to cuddle. It doesn't mean he loves you... particularily since all he ever did with you is sex and not much more.
4) The next morning he brought me to the restaurant and he kept saying things like "you're going to really like the place i'm bringing you" and then after the meal I was talking about paying with my debit card and he never said anything but then the waitress said "you wanted it all on one bill right?" and he said yes and payed my meal
He's got to eat. Paying for you does not mean he loves you.
5) He was asking me a lot of questions about my future plans, career, jobs and projects I was working on
It's called "small talk" and it's better then awkward silences where he's taking a chance that you might start confessing your feelings for him again. He's a person who does what people do. It doesn't mean he loves you.
6) When I got home he texted me with his friends phone telling me that as soon as he gets his own phone that he would text me (which means he was planning on keeping contact with me)
He WAS planning? Anyway, if he wants more sex then yes, he'd have to be able to reach you.
7) We went about 2 months with no contact at all and then I got a phone call from him. (I was really surprised because in the past we would go long periods of time with no contact and he would never contact me unless I reached out first) He said that he was calling because he didn't want me to think that he didn't want to talk to me anymore and explained that he didn't get his cell phone yet. He was far away because he got a new job in a different area and was telling me about how well he is doing and all the improvements. I was at work so I had to go, he said he would call me back the next day but he never did.
People who love you don't go two months without talking to you between sex.
so then the day after that I called him and the person said they would let him know I called but he never called back. It's been about 5 days now and still no call.
yet more indication that you are a option, not a priority.
Does all of this mean anything or am I just over thinking?
You're not "over" thinking. You're "hopefully" thinking. And.... you're wasting your brain matter. Like I said. A guy who actually loved you would NOT go two months without talking to you.
My advise ~ I gave you in your other two threads about this dip stick. Stop your hopefully thinking and do the mental work YOU NEED to do to get yourself over your one sided obsession of this guy. You are wasting your own good dating years pining away for someone who doesn't want you the way you want him. Stop doing that to yourself.
Thank you for all the help and advice
The truth is seldom appreciated but when you "get it" you will thank me then. Get that book I recommended in your other thread. It will help you to process this mess you've put yourself in.
Last edited by Wakeup; 05-11-13 at 07:00 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion