Confused about what to do.

[Andysmith]

Hello all. I am new to this forum. I am posting be caused in am confused about what to do in this situation.

I have been with a girl for six years now. We have talked about marriage and all, but the timing was never right. Last year, I had the opportunity to go back to school. I moved to Boston and she stayed home. A few months ago, we decided it was best to break it off (at least for the time being) because our career paths are taking us in very different directions. It was a mutual decision, and I think it is for the best. I love her, but it is not fair to ask her to wait for me until I am able to move back home (she has some great opportunities there and is not willing to move).

Where the real confusion comes in is that I met someone at work that I am interested in. Although we met a year ago and I thought she was attractive, I didn't entertain the idea of being with her until recently. A couple of months ago, she and her boyfriend also broke up. We started talking more and flirting and now are in contact every day either seeing each other in person or texting. I am now finding that I can't stop thinking about her and I want to tell her how I feel. A couple of days ago, however, she was injured and is now unable to drive. Her exboyfriend has been driving her around and although she hasn't said it, I think they may be getting back together. I am also still in constant contact with my ex.

So, to sum up, we are both still involved with our exes to some extent. I really like her, but honestly don't know if she feels the same. I still love my ex and feel torn between these two women. I am posting this mostly because I need to get it off my chest. But I would appreciate any advice! Should I be open and honest and tell her how I feel? Should I try to just forget her and move on even though I see her at least three days a week at work? Very confused and torn. Thanks!

[Kromat83]

First thing you did wrong, was get too close with someone at work.
What if both of you don't work out, or don't have the same
mindset as to where you both stand.

Talk to others at your work, so you don't have that connection
With her, and you don't need to have her around.
Of course you feel this way, because right now your missing what
you had with your ex, and want to replace it with her.

I could see this ending bad for both your ex and this current girl your
after.
I personally wouldn't do it, but it isn't for me to decide.
Make the smart choice, and don't regret your decision afterwards,
But learn from it and move on.

[datepleo]

Hi Andysmith, first and foremost, I don't believe there is anything wrong in dating someone from work. Love is a hard thing to find. One can always find a new job, but fulfilling our passion is what we all live for. Even if things go sour, I am sure both of you can manage your professional life like adults.

I believe you are torn because you haven't spent much time with the girl from work. Once you get in a relationship with this new girl, maybe you will find out that there are things in her you don't like, or maybe you like her more than the other girl who you've been in relationship for 6 years. Only time will tell. Do not 'try to forget' it. Bring the situation to a full closure, so that you are fully confident about your future decisions.

[smackie9]

She was rebounding off of you and it's not as solid as you thought it was....this is why it's looking they are reconnecting. You are just lonely and need some attention, that's why you find yourself attached to this girl.

You have to learn to let go. I really don't understand why you are sort of waiting for your ex.....it's stupid. You can't keep doing this with your ex....time is a wasting. Just end it.

Tip: don't date co-workers, don't date someone fresh out of a relationship, and it's time to start dating again.

Stop avoiding the reality of your situation...it's time.

[Wakeup]

One thing I will NEVER do if I ever have to start dating again and that will be to date anyone who is still very much active and involved with their ex. There is no need, whatsoever, in my opinion for ex lovers to still be speaking and being in each others company unless there are children involved.

Neither of you have processed your baggage and stored it away or gotten to the stage of indifference to your past partners. You are both very poor relationship material at this point in your lives from what I can gather from your OP.

Shit or get off the pot, Andysmith. Get back with your ex or let her go completely so you are open in heart and mind to actually love someone new... someone who still isn't being helped and getting care-giving from her past boyfriend.

[Boisdevie]

Listen to Wakeup - it's good advice.

[1985@LoVe]

Let go and move on