Hi all, this is my first post here so I thought I'd make it about my biggest current love obstacle. I'm in college and met a guy last year through a friend and we have been friends since. At first, we didn't really talk much and just saw each other when we were with our mutual friend (he had a girlfriend at the time and I wasn't even interested then.) We are both pretty private people and do not let people just come and go into our lives very often so when that mutual friend moved away and his girlfriend broke up with him all during the same month, we started to hang out more. I have been sleeping with a different guy for the past year as a friends with benefits and he had no idea. The (not fwb guy) guy this post is about has taken me out to eat on occasion but most of our time is spent just watching tv. We are getting ready for a weekend trip together to visit another mutual friend soon.
Before I get too far ahead of myself, here's a few necessary details... he was snooping through my computer once and came across my stash of nudes which weren't exactly all vanilla so he knows that I like sex and am open minded. We slept together once a few months later after he saw some fading hickeys I didn't notice from my fwb, a fun day together, sexual tension and awkwardness. I'm not sure if the hickeys had anything to do with the timing . We have texted each other about hooking up again but it never leads anywhere despite seeing each other at least once or twice a week. When we're together I can feel the tension and we both get kind of awkward. It is really time to sit down and talk about our feelings and clarify some things but I just don't know how. I have some personal issues (I am bipolar as well as have a ton of baggage) that I've never directly told him but feel that I need to since they always impact relationships. I really do want to get closer to him but am not sure how to go about it.
I've never had a serious, long term relationship and am not even sure if I want to have one with him and I assume he realizes this but I want to know where he stands. If anyone could offer some advice it would be much appreciated!