I don't know how to show my partner

[noname123]

she was angry when she "broke up"
we're still together and having contact ever since
I was there in sept.
I never dated this other girl!!

but she has really bad mood swings
and she doesn't want to come to me without a very good reason...
she said shes afraid of meeting my people, afraid that she might say she doesnt want to be with me.

but i need to try something so she can come to me, before I go crazy and go to her

[DalM0m]

Have you asked her what you can do to reassure her? For example if you are FB friends with the other woman will your GF be happier if you unfriend this other person? Is that something you are willing to do?

If she can't give you a concrete example of what will reassure her, she may simply be too immature for a relationship.

Do you think her mood swings will dissipate once you are no longer long distance? Is there a meaningful opportunity for that to happen.

[noname123]

Have you asked her what you can do to reassure her? For example if you are FB friends with the other woman will your GF be happier if you unfriend this other person? Is that something you are willing to do?

If she can't give you a concrete example of what will reassure her, she may simply be too immature for a relationship.

Do you think her mood swings will dissipate once you are no longer long distance? Is there a meaningful opportunity for that to happen.

I blocked this other girl almost 2 years ago, long before I met my GF

actualy, I really believe that we're happy without problems when we're nearby.
besides xmas its my bday in feb. but i dont wanna wait that long, because its quite long till then and a lot of things will happen

[smackie9]

Too much bull shit....find another GF that isn't so messed in the brain.

[Cbud92]

A girl with crazy mood swings is a heavy load to carry my friend.. trust me, my current GF is just like that. If you feel you simply cannot balance her out or handle the mood swings, i'd suggest finding a new direction.

[DalM0m]

OK. You already blocked this other girl. But have you asked your current GF what else you can do to reassure her? Again, if she can't give you a concrete answer to that question you have a problem because she's clearly not built for an LDR. Some people aren't & you can't force it. Go out & find somebody to date who is more local. It's much easier.

[noname123]

Too much bull shit....find another GF that isn't so messed in the brain.

you dont know her so dont bad mouth her!

OK. You already blocked this other girl. But have you asked your current GF what else you can do to reassure her? Again, if she can't give you a concrete answer to that question you have a problem because she's clearly not built for an LDR. Some people aren't & you can't force it. Go out & find somebody to date who is more local. It's much easier.

according to her I can only make it up by going back in time
but since thats not possible, we hae to be close/nearby. we make each other happy just by being literally together, we bring the best of each other, heck even people stare at us because we have this spark.

these are really good reasons for me NOT to find someone local!

I've been thinking about another solution though. We love each other very much and there's one thing which will help us: a proposal

[DalM0m]

You are nuts if you propose to this woman because you do not bring out the best in her. She has mood swings. You don't make each other happy just by being together. If you have to be close to be happy, you are not truly happy & there is no trust. You cannot have a solid marriage without trust and hard work. She's not willing to do the work if she lives in a fantasy world where time travel is the only thing that will make her happy. Everyone has a past and if she can't accept the fact that you do too, you will have a miserable marriage.

You also said her sister doesn't like you & has tried to break you up. Without famliy support, you have an uphill battle since she's not fully committed to or invested in this relationship. You said she's "afraid of meeting my people, afraid that she might say she doesnt want to be with me". If she is refusing to meet your family and has already cautioned you that she might tell them that she doesn't want to be with you, how can you possibly think that a marriage proposal is the solution? That's crazy. You are going to spend money on a ring on a wedding & lawyers to deal with all the immigration stuff but she still isn't sure. You are going to get hurt worse.

[searock]

How did you first meet your ex girlfriend? I hope it wasn't an online long-distance thing... And what about the other girl (the one you had unresolved feelings for)?