Screwed over BAD

[Tug]

My (ex) g/f screwed me over pretty bad. Knowing she treated me so bad for so long why does my heart hurt so much? The last month that we lived together I didnt want to be in the same room with her but now that I've moved out the pain is unbearable. How is it possible to feel such a great sense of loss for someone who completely disregarded your feelings for such a long time?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How is it possible to feel such a great sense of loss for someone who completely disregarded your feelings for such a long time?

Maybe you just don't deserve respect, and this is your body's way of letting you know.

[pcmaster]

You might be lonely mate.

Watch this



Also when getting out from abusive relationship its recomended to have emotional support from friends. If you are shy to ask for help then find a profesional listener.

[overanxious]

its possible...it just is....dont know why or how

[Tug]

You might be lonely mate.


Also when getting out from abusive relationship its recomended to have emotional support from friends. If you are shy to ask for help then find a profesional listener.

its possible...it just is....dont know why or how

Thank you both, I sincerely mean that. She'd tell me "I never loved anyone as much as I love you" than I saw all the phone calls and texts to her ex h and wondered why she would tell me one thing and show me something completely different. Who does that, more importantly why would you want to mislead someone about the way you really feel? All I ever asked her to do is be honest with me, she'd look me straight in the eye and say "Im being completely honest" knowing she was hiding what she was doing with her ex H.

[overanxious]

Thank you both, I sincerely mean that. She'd tell me "I never loved anyone as much as I love you" than I saw all the phone calls and texts to her ex h and wondered why she would tell me one thing and show me something completely different. Who does that, more importantly why would you want to mislead someone about the way you really feel? All I ever asked her to do is be honest with me, she'd look me straight in the eye and say "Im being completely honest" knowing she was hiding what she was doing with her ex H.

sometimes were rebounds chief...and honestly they may develop a love for you....they love you for being there for them when their heart is in another place...they may even trick themselves into thinking they love you deeply...they may want to believe it....

my ex came to me after being dumped(and of course i had been told a different story)....she needed someone to be there for her(even though i pursued her and she had always had a huge crush on me)...her heart wasnt ready yet....she needed alot more time to back up and take time for herself...they maintained a friendly casual relationship(but i know for him he wasnt interested in her romantically)....and i wasnt all that happy about it...i always wondered why shed want to maintain a friendship with someone who was supposedly mean to her....and im sure he was just like i was having to deal with her shit alot.....sometimes you never want to be the guy after the guy....u want to be the next guy....it may take a relationship and disgard for them to get over someone else....

[pcmaster]

Thats what sometimes happens when you take what they say seriously. In the end they all sluts. Some are free some cost money but in the end of the day all bitches. Giving too much value to a girl is amistake. No mattter who the girl is always treat her like shes just a girl.

[overanxious]

i can honestly say even though sometimes i felt like a rebound in retrospect...we lasted 2.5 years...and things were really good for 2 years....i have some of the sweetest notes and cards "you are the true love of my life...my best friend and soulmate"...all that crap...great pictures....in the end things didnt progress and develop the way a good mature relationship should...and it died out to where intimacy was almost non existent and routine where it used to be passionate....love and frustration cant exist in teh same place...we were both frustrated with each other.....and i even offered outs that she didnt take....she too "looked me in the eye" and still said she wanted try...but she was already over it in her head....she said "i was hoping for a miracle"....she was talking to someone else behind my back and they started dating right after she ended it(although i dont think there was anything done while i was still there...she already knew the guy somewhat)....i couldnt give her that same passion and love anymore out of frustration with her.....i even saw after we broke up her sister post something "we accept the love we feel we deserve" and she commented "so scary...but so true"........she told me "i was slowly falling out of love with but i didnt want to"...."i miss the us from two years ago"......and sometimes i wonder why i couldnt give her more...but i wasnt getting what i wanted/ needed either....and tug its scary...sometimes we wonder if well ever find that same love/passion/feeling we once had....ill always love that girl even though she hurt my feelings bad....just learn to try to keep in my heart....there were good/great parts to our love....just like yours...."if there ever comes a time we cant be together just keep me in your heart ill stay there forever"....but let her go find whatever it is shes looking for...and if she finds it be happy for her

theres no timetable to give and say when the hurt will end....hell i still hurt....she left me hanging on to something she had quit...she kept me around for weeks/a month ...still going to church with her family...coming over my place to watch movies....going to her families house for evenings and cookouts....and looking back it was like she was barely there....the hurt comes from wondering why someone would something to hurt you when they could have chosen not to...they could have let you go or been honest and walked away clean

[Tug]

What hurt the most is when I started looking at our cell phone bill for the past 2 years. I couldnt see the text messages but I saw all the phone calls she made to her ex H. He never called her, she always called him. I talked to her ex h once and he said she divorced him due to his drinking. They both said they wanted nothing to do with each other but going by all the phone calls you couldnt tell it. Her ex H told me that he was much happier without her and that I should dump her azz and let some other poor SOB deal with her crap. He didnt know it but he was on speaker phone and she heard everything he said. When we hung up I looked at her and said "this is how the man you sacrificed our relationship for thinks of you." He went on and said because of her he drank more which is why she left him in the first place. I think they're both living in denial, he gave her a lifestyle she always wanted and she gave him some sort of companionship even though she flirted with other men while they were married. He knew she cheated on him but couldnt sever contact with her. I *think* she cheated on me and want nothing to do with her but I still hurt inside

[pcmaster]

Thank you for sharing this story. Didnt know that so bad girls live on the planet. Quess you took the bullet for civilization sake and kept the girl ocupied for a while.

[overanxious]

people are ****ed up tug...any type of cheating hurts...physical or emotional....mine was emotional...i wondered the kind of stuff that was being said behind my back....of course all i ever got was denial that this was all in my head....but the pieces are there to put together..."i understand how you could think that but thats not what happened"....and the worst part is...her parents knew...and did nothing to stop it....and i did anything they ever asked(her mother was making a dinner and was out of a sauce "do you have any at your place"..."ill be there in 5 minutes"...."can you go fill leos bowl with water outside" "can u go take him outside for awhile"..."you bet")....and yet they couldnt tell her to be upfront and honest with me....sometimes i wonder if they werent behind it and told her she needed to end it...their daughter still giving me kisses and hugs goodnight......the day we broke up i packed my things to go home(5 hour ride)..she came over i gave her a long hug and kissed her on the forehead ....she took a step back and kissed me on the lips quickly and a tear ran down her eye.......when i got in my car i changed my relationship status on fb.....and what did i get....a text 5 minutes later "really? grow up....i was going to leave that up for awhile out of respect".....i was the one who needed to grow up? its painful

i see it all the time though...people are afraid to walk away until they are sure theres something else waiting for them....i see ****ed up shit on a daily basis where i live....married chicks that im friends with(and casually know their husbands) with kids propositioning me to go on the beach and have sex....just people doing ****ed up shit to each other....at least tug...u can live with yourself knowing you are a better person....that you wouldnt inflict that kind of shit on someone you love

[smackie9]

Could it be possible that you saw the signs here and there but dismissed them because you were in love?

[DalM0m]

You miss the security & sense of belonging you got from being with her. Dysfunctional or not, parts of it were good & having somebody feels better than being lonely even when the somebody is hurtful. You actually don't miss her as much as you miss being in a realtionship. Sadly, the only way to heal is the passage of time. Try not to fall into the rebound trap where you slot somebody into your life before you are over her & ready for a new relationship just so you don't have to be alone.

[Karan]

Dude I was this like u 2 months ago. N I can say for sure time is a great healer. Still miss her but not as much I would say take a trip go visit family far away or just go somewhere u always wanted to. Get some professional help it helps telling what happened to a stranger. Go to the gym, go out with your friends. Get more involved in urself. There are other ladies out there. But give ur self grieving time. Soon it will become a distance memory n u will look back and laugh n think u dodged a bullet. Take care of urself brother. Oh n pliz delete all contacts even facebook. It is hard but it will get better.

[Tug]

people are ****ed up tug...any type of cheating hurts...physical or emotional....mine was emotional...i wondered the kind of stuff that was being said behind my back....of course all i ever got was denial that this was all in my head....but the pieces are there to put together..."i understand how you could think that but thats not what happened"....

Could it be possible that you saw the signs here and there but dismissed them because you were in love?

Over, Id see some of the shit she did on FB and gave her an ultimatum FB or me. She chose me and gave me her word she wouldnt get back on. 2 years later I was on our laptop, she had her iPhone set up so her pictures would automatically download to the laptop. I came across a snapshot she took of her screen, it was an email address and a password that belonged to her daughter. Apparently her daughter used that email address to create a FB account for my g/f. Whjen I asked her about the email address while talking on our cell phones she yelled at me "IM BACK ON FB AND I WAS NEVER GOING TO TELL YOU". That was the day I knew it was over. Later on she apologized and closed the account, she said she wanted our relationship to w/o but by than it was to late. She lied to me way to much and I knew I had to accept that her ex H was right when he said to break up with her.

Smackie Im allot older than most on this forum and believe me I watch for all the signs thats how I actually found out she was lying to me in 2010 but during the entire time we were living together she would either read the bible before going to work or listen to it while driving to work. She's a devout Christian and was even a deconess at her church so when she told me "Im not doing anything I cant do in front of you" or "Im being completely honest" you have a tendency to believe that person due to their strong spiritual beliefs. I went to where she worked and a security guard told me how lucky I was to be living with an angel. Everyone loves her at work but her personal life is a mess and is a completely different person outside of work. The night before I left she told me we needed to talk. I thought, oh god here it comes. She told me she'd been married 3 times which I knew, she told me she had two affairs during her first marriage and one affair during her third marriage which I didnt know about. When she told me that I was pissed, I asked her why she didnt tell me that 5 years ago when we started dating, who in their right mind would ever date someone whose had multiple affairs while she was married? I told her she was damaged goods and had serious mental issues. The following day I packed my stuff while she was at work and left. I had my sister text her and tell her I wanted my dogs and she said NO DOGS! He abandoned them, their mine now. She's keeping my dogs to get back at me for her lying and cheating. I talked to an attorney, he said she can do that and if I wanted my dogs that badly I'd have to take her to small claims court. How ****ed up is that?