love her but have Lost, need help :(

[HarryN]

hey, i joined this so that i can search out for help, i desperately need it, my life is hanging to it
i dont know what do anymore
i love her from all my heart
we are in a real long distance relationship
but it worked like as we were there with each other holding hands.
i went through really bad phase last year, lot of problems hatred and anger consumed me
in those i pushed her away slowly over and over and now she is back with her ex who is also online
earlier she was with him just as a friend
but that made me mad and i went all fighting since that
crying and begging for her to come back,
we both have tried to walk away from each other but it only hurt us even more than staying,
in those tries she has fallen for him, loves him more, more over me and i feel like ive lost her completely, i know ive :'(
and by each passing day she went closer to him and away from me
the more she went away the more i got sad, i know she is the one for me
but now she doesnt love me anymore and i cant live a second without her
ive made sacrifices and accepted whatever she wants now
im just her friend now but i love her like she is my everything and this separation is killing me
ive hurt her over and over and pushed her i know i was wrong and i cant forgive myself
its been over five months since that and ive tried to be a better man ever since proved her on and on
but down the line she feels im pushing her
what shall i do please help

[4 ratties]

You'll never get over her if you stay friends. Being friends with an ex only works when both people have absolutely no feelings for eachother anymore. And you are obviously still full of emotions. You need to not talk to her for a month or two and keep yourself busy and I'm sure u will feel better. If not, go to counseling.

[AshUnlimited]

Close your eye, close your heart and become rude to yourself, be strong move on over it ..

Be selfish, change your life, work, get a life, do thing for youself, Plead yourself, walk alone time will heal you my friend

[bluenote99]

You'll never get over her if you stay friends. Being friends with an ex only works when both people have absolutely no feelings for eachother anymore. And you are obviously still full of emotions. You need to not talk to her for a month or two and keep yourself busy and I'm sure u will feel better. If not, go to counseling.

this is so true when you go through a break up its always tempting to hold on to as much as you can but it just makes the pain of the split last longer, you need to make a clean break of it and fill your life with other things to keep your mind occupied, one day you'll wake up and your ex won't be the first thing on your mind then you'll be where you can look for a new love

[Tug]

Harry stop being so hard on yourself, if the relationship is working its because both people are making it work, if it isnt doesnt mean one person should take all the blame. She was friends with her ex so chances are he was never out of her life emotionally. Beings you had a long distance relationship how do you know they werent still talking? Even as friends if they were still talking that puts you in a difficult position. You had every right to become upset who wouldnt? Tough love coming up... Saying you cant live without her makes you sound weak and pathetic which turns a woman off, of course you can live without her. It's time to man up and deal with the pain I know its hard and its taking everything you have to make it from one day to the next but thats what you have to do. Also, if she's your FB friend unfriend her and block her, but before you do ask her to block you that takes away any temptation you might have to see what she's doing and cause you more pain when you see that she's moved on with her life so easily while your still struggling. I know how you feel my g/f just broke up with me I refuse to look at her FB page or search for her on the internet. I miss her and love her but she's not healthy person to be with and I deserve to be treated so much better and so do you

[Nicgianni1]

I would let her go. A relationship must be a clearly traveled two way street. She does not seem that she wants to continue with you. Don't blame yourself for pushing her away. You had some issues that you needed to deal with obviously. You can still have that full feeling again. Just be patient and it will happen for you.
Keep your chin up!

[ChrisFabiani]

hey, i joined this so that i can search out for help, i desperately need it, my life is hanging to it
i dont know what do anymore
i love her from all my heart
we are in a real long distance relationship
but it worked like as we were there with each other holding hands.
i went through really bad phase last year, lot of problems hatred and anger consumed me
in those i pushed her away slowly over and over and now she is back with her ex who is also online
earlier she was with him just as a friend
but that made me mad and i went all fighting since that
crying and begging for her to come back,
we both have tried to walk away from each other but it only hurt us even more than staying,
in those tries she has fallen for him, loves him more, more over me and i feel like ive lost her completely, i know ive :'(
and by each passing day she went closer to him and away from me
the more she went away the more i got sad, i know she is the one for me
but now she doesnt love me anymore and i cant live a second without her
ive made sacrifices and accepted whatever she wants now
im just her friend now but i love her like she is my everything and this separation is killing me
ive hurt her over and over and pushed her i know i was wrong and i cant forgive myself
its been over five months since that and ive tried to be a better man ever since proved her on and on
but down the line she feels im pushing her
what shall i do please help

I don't know all the details of your relationship so I can't give you extremely detailed advice, but from what I've seen - I would let her go.

If you want her back, the way you're currently behaving towards her crying/begging etc will NOT get her back. It may make her feel a bit sorry for you, she may even feel a bit upset, but it won't make her feel attracted to you.

The biggest chance you've got of ever getting her back is to forget her for the time being. Focus on yourself. Better yourself. Go out with friends, meet other girls etc. Once you've had no contact with her for a while you can reconnect (if you absolutely want to).

Then, it's all about letting her see that you're not upset. Act like you're happy. You can still tease her/make fun of her (in a playful way), but it shouldn't appear as though you are trying to win her back. Remember, you need to give the impression that you're not trying to get her back.

Let her see that you're confident and other girls are interested in you. For this to work you NEED to stop chasing her.

Honestly man, this is the best chance of getting her back - which is, let go of her... get yourself together, then act cool and confident.

Good luck

[bessieb]

All the advice you've been given is good, you need to let her be and get on with trying to rebuild your life without her, easier said than done, but we have all been there, otherwise we wouldn't be on here giving advice to others from what's happened personally to us.

If you keep pushing for friendship or keep contacting her the only thing you are going to do is push her away for good. That may have already happened but if I was you, I would stop contacting her and make yourself busy. If she wants to come back, she will in time because you have left her alone, continue to push and she will stay away permanently.


Girls don't like needy, pushy guys, it's not something we find appealing. Let her see you have a life and don't depend on her for your happiness. You can be upset and angry and feel every other emotion you are doing, just don't let her or any of her friends see it, it won't do you any good.