Growing up, I was an extremely judgmental and opinionated person and I had set unreasonable expectations for the kind of women I wanted to date. That means I refused to date smokers, anybody who had even experimented with drugs, anybody who was excessively promiscuous (by my standards), etc. The last relationship I was in sent me right off the rails and I immediately began dating girls I would have never even considered before. And I’m glad I finally came to my senses because when I met my wife, she was a liberal smoker who had been around the block a few times.
We have always been pretty open with each other about ourselves. I’m not going to lie, even though I threw my unreasonable standards out the window, when she told me she used to be a pothead, it did still bother me, but I got over it and learned that the past is the past. And it really wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.
Last night, though, we both got drunk and had a pretty deep, revealing conversation. We started talking about drugs and I caught her contradicting something she had previously told me. I persisted, and she finally let all the skeletons out of the closet. She told me she had done other drugs. And I mean she has tried a LOT of different drugs. I’m not even going to say which ones because it doesn’t really matter. They weren’t hard drugs or anything to be concerned about; and she doesn’t do them anymore. She even quit smoking a year after we met – and I had nothing to do with it.
And later on, she told me how she was very promiscuous before she met me.
And you know what? I don’t even care about any of that. I look past it. I got over myself years ago. What really hurts me is that she hid the truth from me and lied to me about it for so long. It makes me insecure. If she had really meant it all the times she said she feels like she can be herself around me… she would have never done this. I fail to understand even a shred of it.