Hi, I'm about to finish my first semester of college and I've never had a girlfriend before and never took the time to learn about dating and all that jazz because of how focused I was on making good grades in middle school and high school. (which I did) But now, in college, I started learning from square one, and it seems so difficult from reading things about it, and listening to friends. I also met this girl like a week before college started and took her out for 3 months. She said she's never had a bf before, so we both just took things easy, but.... She lied to me hardcore once, led me on, said she wasn't ready, and then posted things saying how she loved a guy who apparently went into the marines and it hurt. I confronted her about it, because she knew my intentions and still continued to lead me on, and she gave me unclear answers which I didn't like at all so I walked out on her and haven't talked to her since. I've been meeting and talking to girls more and more and enjoy it. I actually took another girl out recently to the movies, but... there are just so many grey areas on this subject. I don't believe I'm ugly, but I also don't believe that super good looking either. My friend's girlfriend was confident that I could get a girlfriend if I wanted to, but I kind of didn't take it seriously... Anyways, I took this girl out and I started texting her, but now, I just feel like I may be going through a depression. I'm not complaining, not just sure how to handle it. I'm starting to get a feeling that I should maybe not date anymore and focus on school again because all these thoughts and curiosities on relationships are starting to become a distraction for my education, which really pisses me off. But then again, I think it sucks that I haven't experienced a strong form of affection, companionship, and intimacy that others have experienced. Is it wrong for me to think this way? Maybe I should just cut all ties with girls with this form of thinking. I took that girl to the movies (who's incredibly cute, I couldn't believe she went with me), but maybe it was just a hangout and not a date. See, these things are distracting. It's terrible. Anyways, I'm trying to be successful, but maybe my wanting to find someone I could relate to and show affection to is a terrible idea, and possibly even selfish? Every time I think about it though, I get a warm heat of happiness, but then realize that maybe it's just stupid and blind... Maybe someone could give me advice, or even ask me questions if you need to know more. Idk, maybe I'm just having a bad day today, but I feel like this a good critical moment I've experienced a few times before that I could express and come back to to reflect on. I just don't understand.... After taking that girl out (who seem to get comfortable with me and trust me) I just felt like I know how to think, be appropriate, and be myself, but also feel so dull. Like I'm no fun. What girl would like me being dull, you know? Also, there's just been another mess with another girl, but Idk about her.