What is he thinking?

[Silent Siren]

Okay guys…I want to know what you think about this. I’ve been with my man for 10 months. We practically live together though I do keep separate residence. We have a wonderful relationship and in the last couple of months, he has been very forthcoming with his feelings towards me. We are sickeningly affectionate towards one another, even in public and around friends. But we are also good partners on making decisions and keeping a household. He has changed his “I”s and “me”s to "us" and "we" in everyday conversation.

We just found out that he is being temporarily relocated out of state for work…anywhere from a year to several years. He asked me to go with him but I can’t because I just landed a great job in my field.

Though I think I would like to marry him, the subject has not come up and I wouldn't push the issue. But I get the feeling it is on his mind. He did tell me the other day that the move would not change our relationship and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

So what do you guys think? Is he considering marriage?

[joanna1]

If your relationship is as good as you said in your post, then if he is going and you stay behind for your job he might be considering asking you, for fear of losing his soulmate, partner. Sometimes you just know someone is the one and last thing you want to do is lose them. Be prepared, he might propose, if you are worried about being taken by surprise by it, should discuss his feelings and yours first. Can you go several years living apart?

[surfhb2]

Yeah.....he told you that.

Tough decision coming up for you....LDRs are tough

[Silent Siren]

Our relationship wasn't always great. It started out rocky but we have become best friends through a mutual determination to understand each other. Most would find it strange that we got to this point in such a short amount of time. Our dynamic seems like it should take years to perfect but somehow we both have just the right combination of personality traits. It is arguable that we are still new enough to be infatuated but I don't feel like that is the case.

Can you go several years living apart?

That is a question on my mind. We did decide that if the project looked like it is going to be long-term (say more than a year), that I will just go ahead and either leave my job and move there with him or see if my company will let me work from home. I think we could make it. It will certainly be a test of our relationship so I am seeing it in a positive way. If we can make it for that amount of time and still have a strong relationship, it will show that we belong together.

He and I both have strong feelings about marriage, both having been in failed marriages. I know that if I ever get married again, it will be for the long haul. If we were to get married before, he and I both would make sure that it lasts no matter what. His faith has instilled in me a deep respect for marriage and we both agree that it should not be taken lightly.

[Silent Siren]

Yeah.....he told you that.

I suppose he did

[smackie9]

You are in the honeymoon stage of your relationship so everything looks promising.....give it a year, your perspective might be altered.

[Silent Siren]

You are in the honeymoon stage of your relationship so everything looks promising.....give it a year, your perspective might be altered.

Could be...

[bessieb]

SilentSiren......Sounds to me like you have a very important decision to make, certainly appears like he's in this for the long haul. Would you move if he proposed marriage?

[Silent Siren]

SilentSiren......Sounds to me like you have a very important decision to make, certainly appears like he's in this for the long haul. Would you move if he proposed marriage?

No, I would still stay here for at least a year. He would never ask me to leave my job since he knows how hard I have worked to land a job like this. That would have to be my decision and I know I want to have at least a year experience to put on my resume. IT jobs are hard to come by when you can't show experience on a resume. But I think we would do fine seeing each other just every weekend or every other weekend.

[Irisu]

If he cant make it work, while he's at his new place, then know he isnt the man for you.
Your love will truly show colors when both of you make it work between eachother and your jobs. However, long distance is very hard and full of doubts. to truly have a mind set of marriage, either of you might have to give up and be with the other. You need to give him a few more months to find out. Goodluck~

[Exeter19]

asking you to go with him sounds like a big deal to me, most guys wouldn't given ask that unless they knew you were the right one. do you want the guy to propose, would you accept and still live apart for a year?

[UKRomantic]

LDR's are hard, from personal experience. But they CAN work.

[Boisdevie]

LDR's are hard, from personal experience. But they CAN work.

But most of the time they don't. That's the important point here. In theory I could become President but back here on planet reality it's not likely to happen.

[Silent Siren]

asking you to go with him sounds like a big deal to me, most guys wouldn't given ask that unless they knew you were the right one. do you want the guy to propose, would you accept and still live apart for a year?

Yes I would. It would be the smart thing to do. I need to stay at this job at least a year to have it on my resume.