Get my ex back

[nicko3371]

Hi, im asking for advice today on how to approach my ex in order to get her back.
We met almost 2 years ago in my homecountry and everything just clicked, we were together after 2 days,
things were like in a movie and i knew i was gonna marry her the moment i saw her. Everything went well until i heard
about 6 months ago that she had lied about some stuff in her past relationships, having had a very hard childhood i always
saw myself as less worth and i got very jealous over something that wasnt that big of a deal, after that things started going
downhill, great moment together would mix with fights over my jealousy and even tho i let it go after a while i feel like she never
forgave me, i did improve but one day in miami i fell back and said something mean and she left me, since i live with her we had to
see eachother everyday for 2 weeks after what happened, those weeks were horrible, i was trying to convince her i would get better
everyday and she would just ignore me and tell me she didnt love me and she wasnt gonna change her mind. The last couple days went
better cause i guess she knew she might never see me again and she kissed me while crying at the airport. After that we hadnt officially
broken up but just a week after i got home i saw she deleted all the pictures of us on a social network, so i called in anger, we fought
and never spoke since then. its been 2 months since and i today realise all the things i did wrong and ive improved so much and i
know things would be so different and better if we started again, we were on the edge of getting engaged and being with her was just magic
until the fights started, i dont expect miracles but just advice on how to approach her for us to get back together. The distance and situation
makes it feel hopeless but i hope you guys can give me some concrete ideas.

Im coming not only for help but to cheer up so i be honest but not mean or overly negative.

Thank for replies in advance

[Syne]

I don't think there's much you can do at this point other than give it more time. Two months isn't a lot of time - she probably still has a lot of hurt/sour feelings. And generally most people don't change in two months. Wait for the dust to settle, and if you still want her back then, approach to see if she's interested in spending time with you again. I would leave out the "I've changed" stuff, because she probably doesn't believe you. You have to show her, not tell her, and anything you try to tell her after two months she probably won't listen to anyway.

Just so this isn't all bad - the pain will get better with time. I know it's probably incredibly hard not to approach her about getting back together right now, but I can guarantee you things will probably go a *lot* better if you give more time for the bad feelings to subside first.

[nicko3371]

I mean it was a wake up call when she left me so i am doing my best not just for her but for myself to be a better man, i mean its a long process but i am getting there and you are right about the need of me showing her but i live in south france and her in the USA, so just meeting up with her makes things maybe too obvious and serious. I am planning on waiting at least another month before any contact but im afraid thats gonna leave her time to forget me for good.

Either way i know ill be fine but weve been through a lot together and i dont wanna give up without trying atleast once again.

Thank you for your time

[Syne]

No worries - after two years she won't forget about you after three months. I'll tell you this from experience - I had an ex that kept pestering me to get back together when I said I wasn't interested. It's been a few years now and the hard feelings have passed, and he's wanting to try again. And I'd be willing to, but the fact that he ignored my boundaries for so long when I told him I wasn't interested just completely soured it for me. So that's why I'm thinking the more distance you give her, the better.

Though I personally think that when you do re-approach her you shouldn't be all super-serious "let's talk about her relationship." Just let her have fun talking to you and remember what it was like.

[randomguy85]

nothing to post

[nicko3371]

Thanks again, how long do you think i should wait? i kept on ´´pestering´´ her for a couple weeks then we had a good last couple days where it felt like even after all we where still great together, so when i left home i left her alone for a while so she could make up her mind but when i saw she deleted all those pictures i called her and she said she was happy now, so we had a minor fight and i havent talked to her since then. I feel today like those last couple weeks gave her a picture of the relationship like a disaster or a lesson and that she would never get back with me.