Guys, does this new girl mean something to him?

[Syne]

He broke up with me on the 30th via text. Over the past week he's tried twice to text/e-mail me mundane stuff, which I brushed off. Then he slipped an apology note under my door for being a jerk when he broke up with me. I e-mailed him for a little after that, but when I got upset and told him how hurt I was over everything he told me to F off.

He stopped talking to me after that; I e-mailed him a few more times about random stuff but no response. Then out of the blue last night he asks if I want to hang out. I accept, and while he's over here he's scrolling through his Facebook conversation with some girl trying to show me a link he sent her. I glimpsed him saying to her "told my ex to F off in five different languages, haven't heard from her in a week, think she finally got the hint. You're not crazy are you?" So after seeing that I kicked him out. Then, and I know it was wrong to do this, but I went back and read the rest of the conversation with that person. And I guess they slept together 3 days after he left me and are seeing each other now. He may have been chatting with her online while we were still together (not sure), but it wasn't a long-term thing since it appears they just met recently.

From what it looks like he's giving her things I had to fight for in the relationship - affection, openness, actually telling his friends about dating her (he's a private person and didn't many people about dating me or his last ex for that matter) etc. And he told a few of his other friends about how he was glad I'd finally "f'ed off," to put it in his words.

That's the first thing I don't understand... the same day he was talking about how he was glad I was gone, he texts me to hang out? Why?

And it's like... he has pet names for this new girl and they're doing xoxoxoxo. But with me it took months for him to do the pet name thing, or be comfortable with me showing that kind of affection, because he was scared to get too close to me in case I left him. I had to have SO many talks about how he was scared, why I won't leave him like the people in his past had, how I'm fine with going his pace, blahblahblah.

Any ideas what might be going through his mind?

I told him not to contact me after I found out, because he did this same thing back in May. Broke it off, was seeing someone else like a week later, that didn't last and then later on he approached me wanting to date again. I am just done at this point.

But I just want to know what could be going through his head. Was he ever really into me at all? I felt like we were really close, he really opened up to me, but he rarely opens up to anyone. Now it seems like he's opening up to this girl right off the bat. And it's like... Why?! Why is she getting all the things right off the bat that I had to fight for? Well maybe not fight, but it took a long time for him to trust and be open with me because he generally doesn't trust anyone due to past experiences. Is it really possible he dumps me and then the next day meets his Princess Charming? Did I mean anything to him?

[smackie9]

Yes it's possible there is more chemistry with this girl OR she is just a rebound. Rebounds can be very intense and fizzle out as quickly as they got started.

But lets not focus on that. Look at your relationship with him. He didn't give you what you wanted, your expectations were not being fulfilled. There are no true answers as to why so there is no sense in dwelling on it. Face the fact that it wasn't meant to be, it's over, and you can't make it into something it wasn't. This is how dating works....you have to kick a few tires before you find the right one. Learn from this experience and look forward to a new one.

[Boisdevie]

when I got upset and told him how hurt I was over everything he told me to F off.

He stopped talking to me after that; I e-mailed him a few more times about random stuff but no response

It really is irrelevant what he now says, does or thinks. What worries me more is that he tells you to F off but then you email him. Now if somebody tells me to F off then the last thing I'm going to do is try to keep some channel of communication open with them because they've treated me like shit. So ask yourself, do you have such low self esteem that you try to contact him even when he's told you to F off?

[Syne]

I e-mailed him anyway because he used to do the same thing to me, we had a few falling outs way back when when I'd ask him to leave me alone and he'd still show up at my door or text or e-mail. So I guess I didn't think much of it.

[Wakeup]

Whats going through his head is that he's trying to keep a door open to have sex with you if/when the new girl(s) stop wanting to screw him. He's a freaking player so don't let him walk through that door anymore. Stop all contact and let him play other girls that he lies to with words of endearment. At least he didn't string you along with bullshit. He just strung you along. Don't let him do it anymore. He's fluff and he's bad at it.