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Thread: Friends with benefits or JUST friends forever?

  1. #1
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    Friends with benefits or JUST friends forever?

    I have a female friend a lot younger than me, we live over 100 miles apart. We have be so called "BFF's" for over 10 years. She has a boyfriend that she lives with part of the time in one city while she works few days a week in another city. There she has her own apartment.

    We talk by phone daily, sometimes for over an hour, one will call the other, sometimes multiple times a day. Texting some days are uncountable just depends on work schedules. We just talk about everything, and I do mean everything

    Occasionally I have the chance to go visit her at her apartment, we spend time together talking, shoping, go eat. Have a great time. We always hug and kiss every time we see each other.

    This last time we agreed that I would bring my massage table, as she had never had one. After changing into some outfits that she had just purchased to show me and then being totally nude, she got onto the table where I give her a semi professional massage for an hour. (I have taken massage classes in the past).

    As the massage progress she became very relaxed, I brushed up against a few key spots on a women and then even spent some time in those areas to see if I could get a NO don't do that, or see if she was getting turned on! I got neither reaction, she never moved or uttered a word.

    Is she just not interested, if she wasn't interested would she not have move away or said NO. She is NOT shy about anything. I'm the shy one!

    Ladies give me your opinions please. FRIENDS FOREVER or do I push the envelope more?

  2. #2
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    Well if a woman is comfortable enough to be naked in front of you she is expecting you to do something.

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    Ok, that's one way of looking at it. I am just so puzzled by her lack of response, either way! Mentioned bringing the table next time I go see her, and her response was "SURE".

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    You're supposed to be platonic friends and you were rude and intrusive enough that you felt you could finger her? She's got some kind of self-respect problem if she didn't up and smack you across your presumptuous face.

    She didn't get naked FOR you, she got clothed in something that would cover her but give you access to give her a proper massage. Whoops read that wrong. None-the-less ...

    I think something is wrong with both of you when it comes to boundaries and the lack thereof. She has a boyfriend. What is your relationship status?
    Last edited by Wakeup; 09-11-13 at 10:38 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Either way you better watch yourself....she could turn on you and claim rape. Don't offer her anymore massages and keep your nose clean. Thinking she wants you when she has a BF spells bad news anyways.

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    No body mentioned fingering anybody, wow did that get blown out of perportion. Boyfriend yes TWO of them. neither now about the other. Only I know about both. my relationship status, I see couple of ladies now and then, nothing real serious

    Smackie9 funny you should mention no more massages, as I just spoke with her and she mentioned bring the table back next time and working on her celulite. Said ok but didnt make a date for it.

    I dont have a problem keeping things the way they are, just dont want to disappoint her. First time in 10 years I couldnt read what she was thinking!

    But as far as her getting naked in front of me, it is certainly not the first time by far.

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    Getting involved with a serial cheater who you obviously have strong feelings for is a recipe for heartbreak. Stop being an idiot. This girl is a minipulate whore but your so enamored of her you cant see through her bullshit. I suggest you take your rose tinted glasses off, see her for what she really is, ditch her once and for all and go find yourself a ****ing real gf like a normal bloke

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    Dude she's got her plate full w/men already. Plus, you 2 have been friends for 10 years that's way too long to know someone to be friends w/benefits. Someone is going to fall for the other, get hurt, and from the sound of it that would be you.

    Now if she was single (and not a cheater) maybe it could work.
    Last edited by FlaCooln; 09-11-13 at 06:28 PM.

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    nothing post

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    Not wanting to really "maybe it could work". I just trying to figure out why she didnt make any indication of either quit that or keep going. I am just shaking my head as to what was she thinking or wanting. Is she wanting something from me, that I beleive could on end up ruining the friendship?? Just so unlike her not to say anything either way.

  11. #11
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    Well if you have seen her naked more than once, etc....that's more than what friends actually do.

    We don't know what she is doing or wants either....you have to ask her for yourself if you want any answers.

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    Dude
    You are her BFF. She gets naked in front of you because she knows that you won't judge and or try anything. You are SAFE.
    I had to say it...but it's the truth.
    Find yourself someone else. She didn't have a reaction because she trusts you as a best friend.

  13. #13
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    Weird...
    She's been using you for emotional reasons...she sees you as a friend. She has 2 boyfriends that don't know about one another? How old are you both? And why would you be want to shlep a heavy ass massage table around to rub someone's cellulite? Does that really work to make it go away?

    If you truly have romantic feelings for her you should let her know and then cut contact unless she wants to date you exclusively. She will prob. cheat on you too though.

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    BFF, best friend that's where I want to be! I dont have any desire too be more. Just when you have a women laying in front of you nude, you mind begins to "wonder" for a lack of better words. Guess I kept thinking the closer I got to things where was this going to go. Waiting to hear "STOP" i would have move to a different location. I just never came. Finally I just quit session was over.

    Romantic feelings... NO!. But however if the mood would have "change" where would it have ended up??? So if she not thinking benefits, than believe all is safe. That's what I am asking???

    Massage table, portable ones are not that heavy, they are made to carry around. Cellulite???? some say it helps other say no way. Dont beleive there is any scienticfic proof of removing any.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Montbob View Post
    BFF, best friend that's where I want to be! I dont have any desire too be more. Just when you have a women laying in front of you nude, you mind begins to "wonder" for a lack of better words. Guess I kept thinking the closer I got to things where was this going to go. Waiting to hear "STOP" i would have move to a different location. I just never came. Finally I just quit session was over.

    Romantic feelings... NO!. But however if the mood would have "change" where would it have ended up??? So if she not thinking benefits, than believe all is safe. That's what I am asking???

    Massage table, portable ones are not that heavy, they are made to carry around. Cellulite???? some say it helps other say no way. Dont beleive there is any scienticfic proof of removing any.
    Without knowing you or her, I'm assuming that she assumes you don't care either way that she's nude. She trusts you so she's comfortable you won't try and make a move. Don't read into too much because you will start to act weird about it. Don't say,"No, I won't be weird". You're questioning a 10 year best friend with a boyfriend. You'll be weird around her.
    Last edited by randomguy85; 12-11-13 at 05:31 PM.

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