In love with my ex

[Sparkle blue]

Hi guys hope you can help, I have been living with my ex for 3 years, we both completely love each other, but some thing happened and it coursed so much upset between our family's , we had a brake 3 m he moved back, then he went all strange on me, got depressed finished with me moved back to his mums, he says he loves me so very much and it's killing him, but he says to much has gone on with our family's, I made a big mistake and I slept with him, we both felt so connected and he says like old time, but the then bang we got up next day and he goes all wired, I really want to be friends but I just don't think I can we shared to much together and he says cause at mo he ant living anywhere, he says he wants get his own place then maybe it maybe Easter with our family's , he is a big family man to, so what do you think guys? X

[smackie9]

What is it that you want help with?

[Sparkle blue]

What is it that you want help with?

On what I should do? Is it worth holding on this thinking he may come to me, or do you think I'm losing a battle, if there is a chance then what's the best way to go about it is the no contact a good aproch x

[smackie9]

OK you said his family means everything to him....what is the conflict there? I need to know why he struggles with your relationship.....why is there conflict with family?

[smackie9]

Sorry but I need to know some background so I can figure out what you can do about your situation.

[Sparkle blue]

Hay ok hear it goes when we got together 3 years ago I had just come out of a violent relationship and had abortion, and to help me I turned to drink, his mum said it would not work, as she thinks I was broken, I even went to get a little help concealing to prove to his mum, then things started to get better I was there for his mum when her dad died, we were got close, but then me James stared to go out bit more and when would argue over drink, he ended up hitting me but I think he was only provoking himself, his mum of coursed blamed me, we totally love each other but our family's just get so much in way, he keeps saying it's to much pressure for him, he dose regret sleeping with and I do to, but he dose not want to lose me as a friend it's just one big mess

[smackie9]

It's toxic plain and simple. This has nothing to do with his mom, but with you and him. If you have drinking issues, you need more than a little help. As for him, if he turns to violence to solve issues, big red flag and is not fixable by you. This is something he has to deal with on his own. And of course matters are not helped with a mother that protects him....that's just plain denial that her son has a problem.

You may love him dearly, but he is not the right choice for a partner. Keep getting help, and go no contact with him would be the healthiest thing you could do for yourself. Once you go through more counseling, you will see things clearer and learn to make better choices. Right now he is not a good choice.

Feeling that you can't lose each other is understandable because you are emotionally attached so you can't see any other way but to stay in contact. From a logical stand point you are best to let go.

[Sparkle blue]

I no you are right, and I guess a lot people would say" if only you could see what were like when it was good it was good, it's just very hard to think I would never see him again but you are right thankyou

[Sparkle blue]

What happens if you keeps texting as he has since the other night, I just hope I'll be strong enuff to no contact, but if he loves me like he says he dose then he will have to let me go right .

[Tug]

Being his friend would only hurt you more. You have to let him go and move on with your life. If he contacts you in the future proceed with caution but to be honest with you need to sever all ties with him

[smackie9]

Just delete and block his number simple as that. I feel he will be able to let go knowing he can't reach you anymore.