After a two year relationship, he's proposed a month apart - Good or bad idea?

[sarasmith]

I'm just looking for another person's opinion on the situation my relationship's in, any advice would be appreciated.

So my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly two years, for both of us it's our first proper relationship and we met during our last year of college. After 6 months of being together I left for university and my boyfriend stayed at home for a gap year. That year I obviously had to consider the geographical distance between the both of us but we kept the relationship going and all was well really.

From this September onwards things are a bit different because he's now gone to university so whilst we're both closer, he's in the situation I was in last year where I imagine he's surrounded by a lot of new fresher's but decided to continue as we have never had any real problems and we're both still 'in love' so to speak.

However two days ago my boyfriend rung me up and told me that he'd been thinking late at night about the two of us being together and how sometimes he worries that we're just together for the sake of being together and he thinks that we should spend a month with contacting each other to see if we really do 'need' and 'want' each other or we're just in the a relationship because we've never fallen out. This would mean no texting or meeting up for a month. I'm obviously quite concerned because simply having these thoughts means that he's doubting the future of our relationship and he's now in the situation that this point last year where he's surrounded by a lot of people, especially of the opposite sex.

However despite this, I don't want to over react as I feel the point about "are we just together just for the sake of being together" is a good one because with this being our first proper relationship for each of us we don't know what a relationship should be like after 2 years.

Any advice would be welcomed, many thanks

[DalM0m]

he's trying to ease his way out of the relationship. Sorry.

[BobxMarley]

I think he is confused. He's trying to figure out whether he wants the relationship or not. Since he is young, he probably has the urge to experience what its like to be single. Its the "grass could be greener" complex. This break will give him the time to see how he feels when he is apart from you.

During the break, one of two things will happen. He will discover that he wants to be on his own and your relationship will end. Or, he will realize how much you mean to him and the relationship will get stronger. If you do agree to the break, you need to be the one in the drivers seat. If he feels you will come back to him no matter what, he will abuse this period of time. So, make sure you are in the drivers seat when determining the terms of this break.

To be honest, he is at a period in his life where he is discovering what he wants. I dated a girl for 5 years starting at age 20. I would think about being single often even though our relationship was healthy. It's natural for males to go through this stage in their life. I don't think there is really much you can do. You guys may weather the storm. Or, it may be time to move on.

I think the break may be an eye opening experience if handled correctly. On the other hand, it can also be a heart breaking one if it isn't.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He wants to bang another chick but keep you around in case it doesn't work out. Tell him if wants a break its a break up, and you want zero contact ever, unless he wants to get back together. Don't whine, cry, or beg. Tell him this as matter of fact as possible then, tell him to let you know and hang up.

[smackie9]

Since it's both your first relationship, your young age, and you both at at uni, you both are missing out on furthering your experience with other people, experiencing single life as adults. I can totally see where he is coming from....he's wondering what else is out there. It's totally normal to feel this way and with circumstances like these it's a no brainer he wants to move on.

[Maple1714]

Let him have his month...or two or three. Give him his space and have zero contact. What everyone else has already posted is pretty spot on. You should take this time to meet other people too...be single for a while. If you both really want to be together again some day you will be.

[Jessica27]

i agree, let him and be prepared to the worst