Hurt he's ignored me and at how its ended. Not sure if I'm to blame!? :/

[nikkikitch]

Hi

OK so i just don't know what to do in this situation and who's right and wrong really. :/

I was seeing my boyfriend for 5 months. We started off lovely, then after about a month he backed off and said he wanted to take it slow. I respected his space and backed off and after about another month or two it was back to being lovely and he wanted to make it official.

Just to mention i have a son who stays with me half the week and with his dad the other half, hes 13 so not a baby.
So my boyfriend (now ex) was very keen to meet him and was completely cool with the situation, they met and got on great. So then my B/f mentions going on holiday together and so we all went away and had what i thought was an amazing time and i actually felt like i was falling for him.

We've had some issues throughout our relationship though. He only gets a few nights a week off and hes one of those guys that never makes plans, so ive always felt a little bit like im hanging around for him the whole time. Plus, he's always liked other womens photos on instagram, and im talking the hot, posey, selfie kind, not photos of their dogs! So ive said to him once before that i find it quite disrespectful that he does that. I know hes not cheating but i dont see why he has to publicly like these photos. He got quite huffy about it at the time but agreed.

Sorry this is a long one but im trying to give context!

So we go on holiday, get back and i dont see him for 4 days then when i do, we just didnt have a great night. I had major holiday blues and came back to a LOT of work stress. So i ended up being a bit down and moody with him, plus, i actually paid for the holiday then on the night we saw each other, made HIM dinner! No gesture from him as a thank you either. Then for last two weeks, things have just gone from bad to worse!

So after that bad night together, he made no further plans to see me then by the time it got to the end of the week i was just a bit annoyed with it all so asked to talk to him. Every time i bring anything up, he freaks out and starts saying hes just laid back and wants it to be organic and hes happy just making plans on the day etc he also says things like, when i 'shout' at him for stuff, it just pushes him away. I haven't shouted about anything, ive just asked that he respects my needs which are making plans in advance, feeling like hes making some kind of effort both with his time and financially and not liking other girls photos! I dont think thats a big deal! I said im not happy with feeling like an afterthought and would like it if he made plans in advance, he just didnt get my point! So we almost break up as he said im too controlling and need to relax and all this other stuff. But then he said he did want to be with me and make it work.

So then he said we'd see each other on the Sunday, it gets to the Sunday and i dont hear off him! So i didnt say anything and eventually text him, nicely, to which he responded perfectly nicely but no mention of seeing each other so i didnt say anything to keep the peace.

We then saw each twice last week, both times i paid AND he liked a pouty photo of a girl on instagram, after saying he respected my feelings and wouldnt anymore! arrrrggghh!

So it gets to Friday and he turns up, doesnt even offer to buy me a drink after me paying for the holiday AND food and wine that week, so i just blew my top at him.Said he makes no effort, i pay for everything etc etc. I ended up walking off as i didnt want to argue. Then i tried calling and texting the following day and he ignored me. I tried again the following day and again got ignored! THEN, he likes a photo of the same girl he liked the previous night IN A BRA! SO that was it, i text him and said i had been prepared to talk but he clearly didnt respect me or my feelings so it was over. I havent had a response.

Im just really confused, i dont think i was being controlling asking him to make more effort? And the instagram thing is just totally childish!
More hurtful is that he ignored me, like ive done something wrong and i dont feel like i have.

Any advice appreciated!

Thanks

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I read half your post. Sounds like he's not interested, and he sounds like a loser. Cheer up.


Edit: Just read the rest. He sounds like a bitch too.

[HDBadger]

I'm not sure what advice you want now. You said it was over and it seems like he's respecting that. What's the problem?

Do you really think it's his job to chase you after you've dumped him?

Because it isn't.

[Maple1714]

He sounds like he isn't 100% interested in you and a bit immature. Forget him and move on. Cut all contact and go meet a nice man who cares enough about you to make plans, help pay for dates...etc. Dating sure can be frustrating huh? I would just let this all go. Find a man who wants to pursue you.

[TablesandChairs]

Nikki, my advice is...wake up.

You can do better than a lazy, financial leech of a boyfriend. I cannot imagine any of my boyfriends letting me pay for everything...they'd had been mortified at even the suggestion. But - to not even cook you dinner or do something - anything - nice for you as a gesture of thanks for taking him on a holiday...that's just lame. Even if he doesn't have the cash, it doesn't cost much to do something nice for someone.

I'd cut him off so you can make room for someone else in your life who will actually make an effort without you having to beg for it.

[Boisdevie]

Nikki. Can't you do better than this dickhead? Don't you deserve better?
I think you do.

[editor]

like many have said. Many women feel attracted to these kinds of guys, but they'll never be the ones who make you happy. You deserve better than this