I don't know what I'm doing

[drakai]

I have no idea what's going on an I'm losing control of my feelings, I need some advice but I'm not even sure what I exactly want to hear. I guess just telling the story then waiting for advice would be better.

When I was in the 3rd year of high school (high school is 4 years where I live) I started liking a girl. But it was more than just liking, she was pretty much my dream girl. Our mentalities matched up and we liked the same or similar things etc. She was a year older than me so she was preparing for the university entrance exams. We didn't know each other much. Oh and also she had a bf so I didn't even try my chance. She graduated that year and started university, I kind of forgot about her for a while but I couldn't like any other girl. A year went by and I finished high school. I got into a university in a different city than her. Because I was totally hopeless, I thought maybe expressing my feeling would help me forget her and then I could fall in love with someone else. I told her that I liked her for the last two years over the internet, I had no other means of reaching her. She said that she was surprised and that she didn't know what to say. I told her that she doesn't have to say anything, that I just wanted to tell her. We talked for a while and that was that.

I ,then, kind of forgot about her (I guess). But after 2 months she talked to me and asked my opinion on her. I told her what I thought of her and asked her why she sounded sad. She told me that she didn't feel happy, that she felt aimless in life. We talked for a while, and that was enough to revive my love for her. I couldn't stop thinking about her and we talked from time to time. In fact we still do, I talked to her a few days ago. When I told her that I wanted to see their campus (Althought my university is a better one, her university's campus is very large and famous) she told me I should go visit them.

I'm confused and don't know what to do. She feels somewhat close but sense a certain distance too. I'm probably being way too naive to think we have a chance. I mean we live in different cities and will for at least another 4 years. She is older than me. She probably doesn't feel anything about me. I know all that and I'm hopeless yet I can't seem to let go of that last bit of hope as I cannot stop thinking about her. I'm unable to like anyone, even girls that I would say totally my type. Until I hear from her that I have no hope, or until she stops talking to me I don't know how I can stop feeling like this. At the end of the semester, we will be in the same city for a month or so; maybe I should meet up with her and tell her how I feel face-to-face so whatever she says will be final?

Any advice is welcome. I feel like an idiot even sharing this trivial bit of hope I have when everyone is asking about real relationships they have.

[Tallgirl]

If you've told her you like her and she hasnt told you she likes you too then I would say that she maybe is looking to you for emotional support and now that you've started talking alot she might start to lean on you when she needs someone to be there for her. Especially if you live in different cities, it might be better if you ask her how she feels about you before you go back home and then you will know and can figure something out together or you can find someone else! I hope that helps!