The worst best date ever.

[Type 3]

Ok, so I very briefly met a girl a couple years ago while I was visiting my brother at college. She still lives there, and it is five hours away from me. Two months ago I received a +1 invitation to a wedding that was taking place, relatively speaking (an hour+ drive for her), in her neck of the woods. So out of the blue, I asked her to be my date to the wedding. She obliged, and we had a fun time.

A few weeks go by, and then my brother (who is now graduated) decides he wants to visit some friends at school. Coincidentally enough, one of my close friends is dating a girl from our area that also goes to school there, so he decides he's going along with my brother to visit. I couldn't ignore the fact that I had a good time with this girl at the wedding, or that I had a perfectly good excuse to tag along with the two of them and take her out on an actual date - so naturally, I decided to ask her to dinner. She agreed, and so last weekend I took her out. I knew this would be much different than the wedding, because we'd actually have one on one time. A big part of me was hoping I didn't have a good time, just so I could be done with the whole thing, as this scenario is nothing close to ideal. Things in my life rarely go the way I hope, and this date held true to form. I had a great time. The conversation was never dull. She looked beautiful. The evening flew by faster than I knew what happened. I really felt some kind of a connection with her.

I'm back home now. I haven't talked to her since, because I'm frustrated by the whole thing and know there's very little chance this has a happy ending. I'm picky, and rarely meet anyone who I care to take out even once, so it's tough for me to ignore how much I enjoyed the time we spent together. My plan, I guess, is to simply call her from time to time, just to chat. Maybe the chemistry continues, maybe it doesn't. There's no one else I'm interested in right now, so I figure where's the harm in at least staying in touch? I don't want her to write me off. I guess I don't have a specific question, but am more or less looking for broad advice. Especially from anyone who has maybe dealt with a similar situation before.

[everythingzero]

aside from your admitted pessimism and the five hour drive, i am not quite sure what the issue is here... there certainly won't be a "happy ending" if you cease contact with her. try to ignore your frustrations and see where this goes with more communication.

A few weeks go by, and then my brother (who is now graduated) decides he wants to visit some friends at school. Coincidentally enough, one of my close friends is dating a girl from our area that also goes to school there, so he decides he's going along with my brother to visit. I couldn't ignore the fact that I had a good time with this girl at the wedding, or that I had a perfectly good excuse to tag along with the two of them and take her out on an actual date - so naturally, I decided to ask her to dinner. She agreed, and so last weekend I took her out. I knew this would be much different than the wedding, because we'd actually have one on one time. A big part of me was hoping I didn't have a good time, just so I could be done with the whole thing, as this scenario is nothing close to ideal. Things in my life rarely go the way I hope, and this date held true to form. I had a great time. The conversation was never dull. She looked beautiful. The evening flew by faster than I knew what happened. I really felt some kind of a connection with her.

thoughts like these are bound to end in self-fulfilling prophesy... you said yourself that the chemistry may or may not continue, but why focus on the possible negative angle when you have the choice (and the ability) to actively pursue a much better possibility?

[random20]

I agree with the previous poster. Why not try it? Have some good conversation by phone, internet and email and get to know her. The times when you can meet and see eachother personally will be so special. If you really fall in love with her, you'll find away to be closer eventually. I'm in a longer distance relationship now but it's not quite as long. We are able to see eachother USUALLY every weekend. But there are times when we have does off that we can have a week together...... we know and have plans to live closer if it keeps going.

[HeartIsAching]

You need to ask yourself why you self-sabotage.