Bit of a Dilema with a New Girl

[Gazb]

Hi All,

I was hoping for some advice on what to do regarding my relationship with this girl.

We've been seeing each other now for about a month and I've always been conscious that she said she wanted to take things slow and didn't want our first time to be a 'drunken night'.

Last night she came round and we watched a movie. We'd had a few drinks and one thing started to lead to another. I stopped us from going any further though as was really aware of what she had previously said.

I'm worried that I might have blown it now given that she left pretty soon after and whilst waiting for a taxi she told me that she had thought about it and really wanted us to get 'close'. I've spoken to her since and get the 'it's alright' response.

I don't know if I'm worrying a bit for no reason or whether I might have properly ballsed it up and should prepare for the worst. Any advice on how to get a clearer answer without probing too much and / or ways that I could try and make it up without coming across too strong?

Thanks
G

[Boisdevie]

Tell her you stopped it going any further because you took seriously her comment about wanting to take things slow. But to be honest you should have just gone with the flow - if she wanted to stop you presumably she could have said something. Perhaps a case of her saying one thing and then one night doing the opposite?

[smackie9]

Communication buddy....why didn't you just say "Are you ready for us to go to the next level? Is this what you want?" simple as that. You need to speak up and talk openly with her about this.

What message I'm getting from her is that she has trust issues and doesn't want to get used for sex. She waited a month and then that night she probably told herself "OK this is the night but I'm so nervous, I guess I'll have a few drinks to help me get comfortable with it." Then when you didn't go for it, she felt undesired and ashamed. It's stupid I know but she is a girl and she can't help the way she feels.

Just go talk to her about it to clarify everything simple as that.