My boyfriend of 5 months are involved in some activities together - a shared common interest. We have a few dates on the calendar that are more or less optional for me to go. I'm not required other than to be there in support. Problem is most of our dates are 2 hrs drive for me (near where he lives). This evening going through my calendar I decided I was not going to go to one in particular because I was already going to be in that area that day before and I did not want to do the driving back to back (not possible for me to stay overnight, gotta be back home during the day). So when we got on the phone later I said something like "looked at my calendar and I'm not going to go to this date because... yadda yadda". Then he says very nicely "I wish you would include me on the decision before you just go make the decision.".... I was VERY annoyed by that? His request was kind and I kinda see the point because I just had my very independent mindset of this is what I'm going to do and that is that - and probably made him feel left out. But I think it makes me feel claustrophobic - I don't want to ask for permission. I like this relationship but this feels like I'm being asked to ask for permission and that irritates me. I don't like being pushed and pulled around, prodded like cattle. It's sort of my personality. Am I overreacting?
I told him that I didn't understand why he was upset and he basically said he's not upset that I'm not going just wish I didn't make a solo decision about it. And I was like if it was more significant I would have had that common curtesy but we had already discussed that my presence was optional. He said, it's ok, it's ok not a big deal. I'm just feeling annoyed by it.
PS I had a divorce that went final in October. That relationship ended about 8 months ago and I think I still have some issues from that controlling and emotional abuse a-hole.