Hey peoples,
So I'll get right into it. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We are very close and love each other very much. About 6 months ago she started a blog on tumblr. The blog was oriented towards fetish/pretty things and she would regularly talk to her followers about her fetish and explore it with them through casual role playing and what not. It never bothered me since it was merely an outlet for her to explore her own sexuality and interests.
Eventually, she met a guy who started to follow her. She really liked his blog and they chatted here and there. Eventually they exchanged numbers and chat over text and sometimes for an hour or so over calls. They both share a lot of interests and even fetishes. On top of that she's really attracted to him (physically) Her and I share the fetishes too but she says she just likes to talk to someone else about them too. I kinda let it go for a while until eventually they were texting almost all day everyday. At this point I got kind of worried, I felt uncomfortable and kind of disrespected.
Anytime I tried to talk about it with her she insists I'm just being jealous and he's just a friend. In her current situation in life, she lacks real friends. She moved back home with her parents after school and since has had literally no real friendships.. There was only us. So naturally, she doesn't want to let go of this guy who she considers a real friend, even though he lives 6 hours away.
Eventually I decided I couldn't stand feeling jealous anymore and I showed her how distraught I was and demanded she cut it out. She said she loves me and wouldn't want to hurt me like that and agreed to cut all ties with him. It worked for a few days but she could still check his blog on tumblr and there were little posts he would make here and there to kind of lure her into talking again. Eventually she started to break and secretly chatted with him here and there behind my back. I find out and she just gets really upset and tells me she thinks it's bullshit she can't talk to him and I'm being controlling. I try to explain to her that I wouldn't be uncomfortable with them talking if they didn't have the kind of relationship they do, sharing fetishes and even RPing with each other. She just doesn't get it though, from what she says, she makes it seem like I'm just completely jealous and controlling and there's nothing wrong with how they talk or their relationship.
Anyway, I'll edit things in later that I missed as I think of them but I just really need advice on what to do next.
Please, try to reply in a strictly neutral stand point and no "just dump her" posts. I'm trying to find out if there is a way to remedy this situation so her and I are both happy and not just give up on the girl I'm truly in love with.
Thanks guys!!