Ex's and Break ups

[Bakes92]

Approximately 10 weeks ago me and my girlfriend split up. I engaged it due to us smothering each other and thought it was best if we had some time apart. We had been together for 2.5 years and are both 21. We didn't contact each other for 2 weeks. I then sent her a text message to see how she was going, if everything was okay, etc. She was quite hurt by the way our break up occurred. I love this girl to death. I want to be back with her. I asked her if there were any guys in her life. She said yes, he is 18! And has never had a relationship and she said she liked him. But yet she tells me she misses me and will always love me. I talk about us getting back together and then I talk about maybe it's time we moved on but she doesn't want to do either. Am I being played? I want her back so badly. I've heard all this advice of "just move on" and "wait it out and give her time" but I haven't found any of it helpful nor valuable. Is there anybody who can help me? I'm out of ideas...

[4 ratties]

I can't provide my help to ya. You need to talk to her. That's it.

[Boisdevie]

If you're in a relationship when you need time apart then it's dying. The only way to fix a relationship is through communication and time apart doesn't exactly help with the communication does it? Since you don't want advice like 'move on' or 'wait it out and give her time' what kind of reply would you like to hear?
Dude, your relationship with her is dead, whether you lilke it or not.

[Peaches1605]

I agree with the 2 posts above me. Communication is always key. If you don't want to get hurt by her indecisiveness then I suggest you break it off no contact until she makes her mind up. Sometimes people just need a push.

Needing space is a difficult one, because sometimes its as simple as "we've been together for so long I want to try something new" ... This is a very slippery slope. I suggest you talk it out and find out why she's having trouble making the decision. If she can't give you an answer then I have to say cut your losses and move on

Good luck

[TheEvilJester]

I would also have to agree with all of the above advice. Quite frankly, "just move on" or "give her time" are really pretty much your only options, so I'm not sure what other advice you are looking for here. I mean, if you want to stay with her, then the "give her time" option should also include, at some point, having a serious, but cordial conversation about what you both want. If you want the relationship to continue then "give her time" shouldn't mean you just break all contact permanently and hope she reaches back out. Either way, you both need closure.

So, either you move on and explain to her why you are doing so, or you decide to fight for your relationship (whether that means you fight right now, or you take some time but still stay in communication, and fight for it after you both have a little time apart) so you will have to have some serious conversations about what you both want out of life, and whether or not the two of you can be that for each other. Either way, good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for in life, whether it winds up being her or not.

[Heart Healer]

Hi Bakes92,



All the advises given here or on any other forum are direct deductions of what the Original poster has written and his problem statement. Though sometimes, there are situations when two individuals have problems of similar nature, when somewhere the same advice can work in both cases. So, advises given depend on the nature of problem.

What's most important is that you eventually listen to what your heart says. If you heart still feels for her, if you think you guys are meant for each other, if this seperation is killing you from within and you really want things to frame up in a positive manner, go for it and make full use of this opportunity before an 18 year old grabs it.

She loves you and wants to be with you. Likewise, you love her and this separation is making you doubt on your decision, I dont think there should be any problem. Just go to her, feel sorry for what happened and what you did, make things work out in the right way. I am sure, you'll have her.