Is groping, heavy kissing normal for a first date?

**michelle23** · 23-11-13, 02:04 AM

How do you feel a part from used? What he did was rape. He even admitted that himself. Kts your choice whether you want to report this or not but stop blaming yourself, its not your fault xx

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**smackie9** · 23-11-13, 06:30 AM

If a defence lawyer got a hold of this info on here it wouldn't hold up in court.

**Wakeup** · 23-11-13, 08:02 AM

I'm sorry this happened to you: It may not be your fault that he's pushed his own way on you op but I do hope that you've learned that when you find yourself with a man that keeps pushing, that you make sure you don't go anywhere private with him and keep your interactions with him to public places where groping and other such goings on won't be able to take place.

**michelle23** · 23-11-13, 08:47 AM

Yes i think a lesson will be learned from this OP. Dont think with your heart. Use your head. You must be wary of men in future until one PROVES he can be trusted. Most of us have been in a similar situation at one point or another. Theres always gonna be at least ine prick who tries to take advantage. Now that its happened, dont beat yourself up about it-just learn from it. A lot of men are assholes so be careful who you trust in future x

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**smackie9** · 23-11-13, 08:57 AM

Wow you are lucky he didn't have his hands around your throat strangling the last bit of life out of you.

**pcmaster** · 23-11-13, 09:00 AM

Looks like OP answered to her topic question by her own expierience already.

**michelle23** · 23-11-13, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by smackie9

Wow you are lucky he didn't have his hands around your throat strangling the last bit of life out of you.

I didnt mean it like that but we all know at least 10 guys we wouldnt trust in a million years. I certainly know a few i wouldnt like to meet down a dark alley. Predators exist. No point pretending its her fault coz she got in his stupid car. Or coz she was pre warned about him. This was the last thing she expected to happen and yes she put herself there knowing he was pushy but you still cant blame her coz saying no should always be enough.

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**smackie9** · 23-11-13, 03:39 PM

I meant it..........

**michelle23** · 23-11-13, 03:46 PM

Oh sorry. Thought it was aimed at my post lol in a sarcastic way

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**ElizabethB** · 26-11-13, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by michelle23

How do you feel a part from used? What he did was rape. He even admitted that himself. Kts your choice whether you want to report this or not but stop blaming yourself, its not your fault xx

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Michelle23, I feel miserable. I keep thinking about it... what I did wrong that made him think I wanted him or was easy. I mean, he knew I never slept with anyone but one man. When we chatted and he talked sexually in very dirty way - I stopped him because I did like language he was using. Also, each time we met I said I can't sleep with him and that I did not like when he pulled his ... on first meeting. He knew it all. But then I let him kiss me and touch me and I guess that was "yes" for him.

I was honest with him, about me or my life. When I said I am falling for him - I meant it - instead of him who just played it all.
I don't want to report anything. I just want to get over him but he is still in my head. He sent me a few short messages - nothing special and I was naive enough to reply. It hurts me to know that I mean nothing to him even though he was telling me otherwise. I guess I am still in denial about him. I keep looking for excuses to label him as a good guy. And for what? So naive!!!

**basilandthyme** · 26-11-13, 06:40 PM

Elizabeth, please contact a rape crisis centre. While you don't have to report it, you do need to have some counselling by someone who's a professional in that area.

In the meantime, Google sexual coercion. Have a read of some of the information out there - and look for support groups

**RyanJames** · 27-11-13, 04:14 PM

OP B&T is right, there are people who can help and if you need to then seek that help out, this was a violation of your rights and you are not to blame, you have a lot of support out here and my thoughts are with you. Another positive step you could take would be to speak to some of your male friends about it - obviously not so that they go and attack the guy or anything stupid like that, but just to get some male support from people who are genuinely your friends, you want this incident to be a learning experience and not a damaging one. Good luck, we are here for you to share.

**michelle23** · 28-11-13, 04:33 AM

Originally Posted by ElizabethB

Michelle23, I feel miserable. I keep thinking about it... what I did wrong that made him think I wanted him or was easy. I mean, he knew I never slept with anyone but one man. When we chatted and he talked sexually in very dirty way - I stopped him because I did like language he was using. Also, each time we met I said I can't sleep with him and that I did not like when he pulled his ... on first meeting. He knew it all. But then I let him kiss me and touch me and I guess that was "yes" for him.

I was honest with him, about me or my life. When I said I am falling for him - I meant it - instead of him who just played it all.
I don't want to report anything. I just want to get over him but he is still in my head. He sent me a few short messages - nothing special and I was naive enough to reply. It hurts me to know that I mean nothing to him even though he was telling me otherwise. I guess I am still in denial about him. I keep looking for excuses to label him as a good guy. And for what? So naive!!!

You should talk to someone about this. It depends really on how you feel about it. Do you feel like he forced you? Did you feel dirty after or ashamed? Im not saying you should feel that way but if you do then its serious and youll need help to deal with it. Perhaps a counsellor?

However if you just feel used then you should confront him and tell him what a piece of shit he is and that you never want to hear from him again. Hes an asshole who took advantage. Stay away from him, you can do better. If its a case of feeling used and hurt then you will be okay. You just need time to deal with it and move on from it.

But only you can decide how serious this is and if you feel he asdaulted you, you need to speak up and do something about it. X

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