Just a little help please

[aloha20]

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and we're really close and doing well I think.

Now he came over last night and he was really distant and standoffish, when I asked what was wrong he kinda breathed heavily and started with a "well..." Then stopped and erm-ed and ah-ed for a bit then said it didn't matter, so I was convinced he was gonna break it off.

After some kissing and hugging, I asked one more time if he was okay and he finally said it was something back home and it was playing on his mind and that he was sorry his head was in a different place. I couldn't help feeling this was a little "not him" but I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said no.

Over the past few days, I've been feeling like he is drifting a little so, in my tired and stupid mindset, I told him "please don't feel like you have to go along with anything you don't want to, just for the sake of making me happy." To this, he pulled me into a tight hug, laughed and said "I'll keep that in mind." His voice was jokey and cute but I was wondering, what does this mean? Is this a good or bad thing? I'm no good at understanding guys.

[Boisdevie]

Men talk when they are good and ready and not before. if you keep pestering him he'll get annoyed with you.

[TheEvilJester]

It is hard to tell, to be honest. I can concur with Boisdevie. I happen to be much more open when it comes to communicating with a significant other than most men, and even I am often not immediately in the mood to talk when something is bothering me. It is just a guy thing. So, it is entirely possible (and from your interaction sounds like it may be the case) that he really does just have something going on that has nothing to do with you.

For now, the best thing to do is just let it be. If he wants to talk he will. If it is what you were worried it may be, then it will obviously come up again eventually, so you will know in time either way. If it really is just something else, then he'll get over it in his own time and be back to normal. The best thing to do is offer a couple times to talk about it (sounds like you did that), and if he says no thank you, just basically say something along the lines of "Okay, but please know that I am always here for you if you need." If it is really bothering you, an innocent "Is everything okay with us?" would be okay, maybe ONCE. But, if you keep asking that over and over it wouldn't really be good either way. If he things are fine, you will just come off as being insecure, and/or not trusting him. (Or, worse, he may even wonder if you are asking because YOU are not happy with things.) If he is thinking of breaking things off, then it would eventually come up anyway, so you wouldn't do yourself any favors by pushing it.

Best of luck. I hope everything works out for you.

[michelle23]

Just ask him is he having doubts about you? Thats all you need to say

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