I just had the " I need space talk" ? ? ? ? ?

[Heart Healer]

Hi smiling100,

Its really bad to know all that happened with you both but I assure you its beginning of something wonderful, for sure. You seem to me as a very understanding and mature person who respect other's emotions, feelings and needs. This is very good. You know she has just come out of a rough past and it will take sometime for her to regain herself and start things afresh, which is why I believe that was very decent of you to ask her whether it was soon for her to get into another relationship with you or not. But you must understand one very basic thing, howsoever rotten her past was with her ex-boyfriend, he will always remain in her heart for sometime. For certain time frame, things will be very difficult to handle. Each and every action of yours will, somewhere be compared with him. But you need to realize that, whatever it was, it was her past and you are her present.

You have framed a different space in her heart just for yourself. She loves you and she has affirmed you on this. Its just the matter of time that she needs to cope up with everything. You see, emotions and memories don't leave our hearts and mind that easily. She still needs sometime to cover up the emotional breakdown he has experienced and she needs your support in this.

So, I feel, instead of keeping distance, you should comfort her, be a little more with her, adjust to her needs and moods, make her feel good whenever she's down thinking about her past, hang out with her, text her, talk anything and everything she wants...but just help her to bounce back from her present situation. All these things will count and you will emerge as a person, in her eyes who is caring, loving, understanding and who stays with someone at times of need.

All The Best !!!
Take Care !!!

[smiling100]

Surprise surprise she called it off.

Was silly of me to think I had a chance when she said she needed her space.

Said all the cliches "It's not you it's me" "you've done nothing wrong" said I was the nicest guy & there are millions of girls that would want me (except for her)

[smackie9]

So sorry for your loss......well at least you are keeping positive, I wish you well. Thanks for the update.

[sajib]

Hi everyone Just in need of some friendly advice

I began dating this wonderful lady for a few months after she recently came out of a relationship a few months prior. I asked her at first was it to soon & she said no. So we gave it a go.

Long story short is yes it was to soon. It's been great then not so great. I said it's ok if you want to end it & no hard feelings. I understand as i've been in your position before. I just have to grin & bear it as I know she did not intentionally mean to hurt me.

She said she doesn't want to lose me & wants to heal & needs a few weeks to herself. I said no problem & I totally understand. I know she does care for me & thinks i'm a great guy etc cause she keeps telling me. She said I need to be strong for us which I have been for the past week.

I do really like her so we have agreed to stay in touch via text so we can still have a connection. I am going to give her space & let her initiate contact.

So is it the beginning of the end? or the beginning of something wonderful? She has basically told me she wants this to work & needs time.

Has anyone been in this situation before?

I'd be interested to know the womens perspective as from my own I would not string someone along if I had no intention of being with them


all the best

Smiling

You have every reason to give her sometime, even though it maybe both, loosing her or getting her but both worthy being patient. I think every human would love someone who is not playing with his or her feelings and to my understanding the fact that that person is just coming from another relationship, that might be a sign that her last relationship did not end well and she is still worried of getting into another one now. You got to be strong and show her a real support all the way through.

[smiling100]

So sorry for your loss......well at least you are keeping positive, I wish you well. Thanks for the update.

Cheers

Though needless to say it's the cowards way of weaning out of a relationship & leaving someone vulnerable in limbo.

I have never done the "I need space talk" to anyone & never will.

[sajib]

well i would say its the start of the end, I'm not usually a negative person but in this case found it hard to understand what space would one want if they have the love they need, from my level of understanding you need space from something that irritates you or burdens you, its a bad sign, either the girl is not over her ex lover or she is torn between the two of you

[smackie9]

Cheers

Though needless to say it's the cowards way of weaning out of a relationship & leaving someone vulnerable in limbo.

I have never done the "I need space talk" to anyone & never will.

Some people do that to make it easier to make a break for it and not have to deal with the drama of having to explain themselves. I remember trying to breakup with BFs with them practically wrapping themselves around my leg so I wouldn't leave, crying and begging uuuuh!

[smiling100]

Some people do that to make it easier to make a break for it and not have to deal with the drama of having to explain themselves. I remember trying to breakup with BFs with them practically wrapping themselves around my leg so I wouldn't leave, crying and begging uuuuh!

Ha. Not that I would of wrapped myself around her leg as in my case she called it off over the phone.

I dunno I just have to get on with it. Though must admit I am disappointed with the way she went about ending it.

Waiting in limbo for a few weeks then the dreaded phone call!

Life goes on!

[smackie9]

Ya I did an over the phone breakup but I was 15 and it was a short short relationship lol. Breakups never go down well. One ex (one that clung onto me each time I tried to end it) I ended it with a note and a key to his place, and STILL it wasn't enough....he had his friends begging me at my work, to take him back UHHH!

I agree the lets take a break is lame ass, never did that myself. Sucks but that's why all of us on here say it's a breakup anyways so you better just treat it as one.

If someone said that to me, I would just end it myself right there.

[violet11]

Cheers

Though needless to say it's the cowards way of weaning out of a relationship & leaving someone vulnerable in limbo.

I have never done the "I need space talk" to anyone & never will.

Honestly.. I dont think those thoughts are going to help you in teh long run. When she said she needed space, she probably did. And when she got space, she realised she wasnt ready for the relationship. I dont think she was stringing you along. Unfortunately she just came to a decision you're not happy with.

Sorry to hear it didnt work out! But you'll meet someone better for you.

[smiling100]

If someone said that to me, I would just end it myself right there.

Don't worry next time I will!

[smiling100]

Honestly.. I dont think those thoughts are going to help you in teh long run. When she said she needed space, she probably did. And when she got space, she realised she wasnt ready for the relationship. I dont think she was stringing you along. Unfortunately she just came to a decision you're not happy with.

Sorry to hear it didnt work out! But you'll meet someone better for you.

I know in time I hopefully will accept it.

I'm hurting right now for what she put me through. I know she didn't intentionally mean to hurt me but the fact is she should of known better than to drag me into her issues before she resolved them. I was in a happy place when I met her & now i'm not.

Guess it's going to take some time for the hurt to go.



Thanks for every ones replies )

[michelle23]

We all have knocks. Its a part of life. You just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward onto bigger and better things.

Its okay to be sad and to grieve a little but remember shes just one girl that you wernt compatable with and someone better is out there waiting to be found.

Stay strong and try to heal in a constructive manner. Join the gym, join a hobby, focus on work or study, spend time with people whi care.. when your ready to meet someone new, youll know it.

But please dont have some pathetic little rebound coz uour lonely. Thats destructive

Good look

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[smiling100]

We all have knocks. Its a part of life. You just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward onto bigger and better things.

Its okay to be sad and to grieve a little but remember shes just one girl that you wernt compatable with and someone better is out there waiting to be found.

Stay strong and try to heal in a constructive manner. Join the gym, join a hobby, focus on work or study, spend time with people whi care.. when your ready to meet someone new, youll know it.

But please dont have some pathetic little rebound coz uour lonely. Thats destructive

Good look

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Well that's the plan.

Easy to say but I have to work through the initial part which is the hardest. It's only been a week so it's still quite raw & hurts.

Won't be doing a rebound, that's not fair on anyone & it's hypocritical

[michelle23]

Good for you. It will take time but youll be okay. Have no contact with her and youll heal faster

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