Afraid of getting hurt again...!

[Leanne7]

So I'm 18, and I been with my boyfriend for 4 months. We were in school together but never spoke but got to know each other over Facebook. We met at a beach and things moved really quick. We got in a relationship on that day and things were amazing for the first 2-3 months. We went everywhere and did everything. He's got a job but doesn't drive which doesn't really bother me as I've got a car but I make all the effort to see him. I love him so much to the point where I just want to see him all the time. But with college and his work I can't see him everyday. After college I drive 45 minutes to see him from 5-10 but things got to the point where he was on his phone and not giving me a lot of attention like he used to. We used to talk on Facebook all the time and he used to send really nice messages that made me feel really special. I'm a bit insecure and I do feel sometimes he's too good for me lookwise. When I told him how I felt he said I was paranoid and I always nag him. When I got home he left me a messages saying he's has enough. For 2 days I cried my eyes out and I was heartbroken. I begged him to give me a second chance and he did. So things have gotten better but Im really terrified he will leave me again and I know it's probably me being paranoid but I'm so in love with him I never want to be without him. Also I message him everyday first he doesn't message me first and he replies basic replies. He adds girls on Facebook and I can't help getting jealous. I try not to message him but I can't help it.. I just hate feeling he's going to leave me... Help!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop going over there everyday.

[Ugly_Swan]

Here's a list of things to consider and to use for perspective:

1) you're only 18--still emotionally underdevelopped (i.e. you will learn a lot over the next few years, this isn't the end of the world)
2) just because you "love" him doesn't mean he can make you happy. Trust me, there's a difference--I learned the hard way. Once you find someone you can be happy with and make happy--love will result naturally eventually and you won't care about past exes
3) nagging, pleading, insecurity--unless you've been together long and he respects you; all this does is devalue you in his eyes. He may have taken you back out of caring/pity/ etc. but he doesn't see you as awesome and more and might be scared or resentful of the pressure you put on him. Sucks, I know, but such is life--you've only been with him 3 months and that's very short--too short to be displaying weaknesses, unfortunately.
4) He is not into you again--if a guy dumps you once...he will do it again (most likely). Move on. Cut him now so that you at least salvage self-respect, dignity, and self-control out of this. Then you'll feel stronger/proud of yourself.
5) Maybe you love him because you are projecting the ideal of a wonderful long-lasting love onto him--but he is just a human guy--one who may have not even proved you his worth yet.
6) I encourage you to go to YouTube and listen to Tonya TKO's videos on love/relationships/self-love. As corny and embarrassing it is to admit--her videos helped me tremendously through break-ups and they even get you motivated to do other productive stuff.
7) He is fed up and because a breakup happened--you are now gonna tend to wanna test him more in order to get back the trust--aka it's spiralling downhill fast--let yourself free and don't go down there.
8) Best to, after this all ends, start looking into yourself and trying to heal your insecurity and getting a busy wholesome life. THEN once you feel ready and self-respectful, THEN look for a guy. But I learned the hard way that there's no point in having a scarcity mentality and jumping into love with the next guy you meet, because even if he IS wonderful--nothing good will come out of it unless you are emotionally ready.
9) Read up books/blogs on how to navigate relationships (ex. wwnh.wordpress.com) so you know better for next time. Take it slow. Two of my friends has this exact same advice: do not upgrade someone to a higher relationship "tier" in your mind until there's been time and proof (i.e. do not think of someone as a prince charming without meticulously putting them through the tests of "friend, guy I'm dating, decent guy, etc."--and if they mess up when on a higher tier--demote them; aka expect less of them and give less of yourself until they work back up. The same goes for friendships.
10) you might not even love him, maybe you're infatuated or you need him for your ego because he has the qualities which you lack in yourself

This is a lot of wisdom that I just barfed onto this post lollol but please read it over--it's all tested/learned from experience.