Devoloping Problem

[Peanut96]

Hi. Been going out with this girl for about 6 months, love her alot and everything mostly has been fine. She is 17 and I am 18, also we stay pretty close to each other and met through friends at school. Recently i've started to notice that I have (without realising) become the more needy one. For example it is always me that suggest we do something or she comes to mines, I feel if i never done this then we would go like a week without seeing each other. Maybe I am overeacting as she will be the first one to text me everyday however when we do start talking I always get the feeling that it is me trying to make the conversation. Worth mentioning we were really good friends before going out, we always laugh and there is never awkward silences etc. She has just started a new job and this has made it a bit worse as she always says she is tired. I am really confused as she says she loves me everyday however never seems keen to make plans and recently it seems like it is almost a physical effort to see me. I am by no means ugly but she is very good looking and tends to attract alot of male attention when we are out, part of me has been wondering whether maybe this problem comes from that as girls never hit on me but I have to make more effort to keep her mines (even though she doesant text other guys and has never cheated). I think if this problem continued over a long period of time then it could end badly. Anyway to wrap it all up I need advice on how to be less needy and make her do the chasing a bit more. Cheers guys

[pcmaster]

Get a life peanut. Be busy too. Focus on work or studies, have a hobbie and go out with friends. Basicaly setting her your main focus will push her away. Girls wants to be part of already rich life rather than someones whole life. So widden your horizen open mind no new things and ideas. Whatever you decide to do, do it for yourself. Doing something because of her will make you only more attached and once shes away from your life you gona end up quiting on whatever you started cause it will feel meaningless. So have a meaning on your own and you will be meaningful to her too.

Try to make her invest more aswell. Like put her in situations where she have to decide go out with you or not. Dont always be a leader and asume that you know her but make her feel like shes doing something for both of you too and make her feel like interesting and unexplored person.

Also problem could be in lack of intimacy and in moments you are together it could be lack of emotional affection because of lack of time you spend together comunicating and just doing things together.

If you feel like you loosing her then try this


and also check these guides, could be intersting for you

loveforum.net/threads/85674-Guide-on-interacting-with-girls

loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup

[Peanut96]

Cheers mate that has really helped, I will look into the stuff you have mentioned. Despite what I just said I do have a life. I have plenty of friends and I am at university. Just happens I have perhaps made this into to much of my life than I should have

[Peanut96]

Don't think i want to break up with her. Just want advice on how to be less needy

[pcmaster]

Well you might look up in google "emotional investment" and "co-depentacy".

[4 ratties]

You don't seem needy to me. Most girls would love an attentive boyfriend as long as your not controlling her which it doesn't sound like you are, sounds like she is not putting enough into the relationship and it is making u insecure.
First thing to think about is: are your expectations realistic and healthy? Does she really seem to not put in the effort you are or is it in your head? What exactly do u want from her? Ask her, communication is SUCH a powerful thing. Learn that young. Both partners will feel secure and so happy if you guys communicate what your thinking, feeling, and what u need.
I don't think your needy. I think she's not meeting your needs so your being a little desperate.

[pcmaster]

Shes a working student. Its only normal to have time planed by seconds in this case. At her age I had time only thru phone when on a road or lunch break at school.