Not enough sex, what to do?

[Grimraven]

After going through a very difficult Long distance relationship, I finally got married with my girlfriend. Previously, I used to have sex with her quite often, no matter how tired me or she was, it used not to be an excuse.
After dating for about 3 months, which most of what was through the distance, we got married.
It's embarrassing to say but we did not even have sex during our first wedding night, because my wife was not in the mood and just wanted to sleep. Excuses like, getting a headache, being tired or not in the mood are becoming very frequent and I am being shut down almost every night. She does not like to have sex during mornings and there are no opportunities during the day. This irritates me, because it is very difficult to suppress my desires while laying next to my wife and not try to have sex. And no matter how easy I begin the foreplay by caressing my wife, she just shows no signs of pleasure and shuts me down whenever I try to go down on her.
I tried to openly talk to my wife about it, but she just uses one of the three excuses to not have sex because she is
a) not in the mood
b) is tired
c) suggests that we should get some sleep because we need to get something done tomorrow

I wanted to ask those who has experience, if things I am dealing with is normal or not, and ask for any suggestions.

Thanks,
Grim

[Grimraven]

I should also mention that I make my wife climax every time we have sex...and I am 28, she is 24

[michelle23]

You married her too soon without figuring out if your compatable or not. Get a quickie divorce and be done with it or try to get your marriage annulled. Is it possible she could have married you for a visa?

Its not gonna get better. Shes no interest in sleeping with you. Full stop. She either married you for the wrong reasons, has a secret lover or no interest in sex in general..

Again waaayyy too fast. You shouldnt have married her. You cant possibly know for sure whether your great together unless youve been together at least 3 years and went through a few obstacles together and survived a few tough times.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

Well first off the majority of people don't have sex on their wedding nigh because they are so exhausted from the day's activities, hosting a reception, eating and drinking too much. Most just want to hit the hay and pass out.

So it could be many things....like she's actually a lesbian and married to hide her sexuality. It could be psychological....maybe she's worried about getting pregnant, maybe she has been having a secret love affair with someone and is depressed about having to end it, she really doesn't love you and is regretting marrying you, etc.


Basically you have to be firm with her about it....suggest seeking out a counselor for her so she can talk to someone about what it is, and to help her come forward with the truth about whatever it is that is troubling her. Or tell her she is off the hook, she can call it quits and have the marriage annulled.

[smackie9]

Is she from a foreign country by any chance?

[basilandthyme]

The fact that you married a girl you barely know not withstanding....

Sex is complicated: Long lasting physical desire comes from emotional attraction and being happy within. So tell us more about your relationship and her stage of mind.

Do you have a happy, loving relationship? No teething problems? Have the two of you meshed well and without issues still waiting to be solved? Is she homesick at all? Has she got new friends where she lives now? A job?

And for what it's worth, emotional issues which stop someone wanting sex aren't excuses - they are reasons. When one uses the word 'excuses' it sounds as though they don't believe what is said to them.

[basilandthyme]

Is she from a foreign country by any chance?

Smackie, here's the history you're seeking http://www.loveforum.net/threads/84813-Is-this-a-healthy-relationship?highlight=

[smackie9]

Smackie, here's the history you're seeking http://www.loveforum.net/threads/84813-Is-this-a-healthy-relationship?highlight=

.....OK I just had to read the first line.....so this is a green card thing.....dude she is using you to get into the country. Yer a sucker....call the authorities and explain that she married you to get access to citizenship. They will have np shipping her ass back, and your property and assets will be out of her grasp.