I need a bit of a psychoanalysis. Please try not to be too cruel.
Relationship pattern:
Intense relationships with men who are initially in awe of me, and fall hard for me. I'm a compassionate person and I hate fighting with people, so the guys feel like I understand them, never nag them or get mad.
Then they start to take me for granted / mistreat me / neglect me. I get hurt, put up with it for a few weeks, start to tell them I'm not happy, they keep doing it. Then I can't take it anymore, break up with them, and they proceed to chase me for months, or even years: telling me that I was the most amazing woman they ever met and they cant believe they messed things up with me.
And it's happening again. My most recent relationship just bit the dust, and now he's bombarding me with calls and texts, asking me to give him another chance. Unfortunately I really love this guy. Breaking up with him is killing me, but I can't bring myself to take him back, because I don't see how things would get better. I only ever took back one guy, and it just prolonged the misery.
I know it's probably hard for people to say, but I need some insight into why I either attract that particular kind of guy, or else I bring that behaviour out in them. Maybe I dont believe I deserve to be treated well. I also suffer from terrible anxiety around relationships. I cover it up really well, but I wonder if on some level they sense it, and it scares them off. One guy told me that I felt "dangerous to fall in love with". He was saying it in relation to how powerful he thought I was, and that he would always fear I was going to leave him.
Any insights would be really appreciated <3 And yes, I will go back for therapy...