I want my ex back..

[ju1ie]

Ok I'll try to make this long story short as much as i can....Please be kind (as my heart is still broken and tender from the breakup). My ex and I broke up in August after being together for 6.5 years so (on his birthday he moved out and moved in with his bff and at the time my bff) His bff and my ex bff are dating.....so when my ex got his own place....he came back to me and for a month we had sex, kept seeing each other every weekend etc....then at the end of the month, (although we are still broken up) his bff spent the night with him and i basicallly caught him sleeping with another girl (that appeared that they just got done having sex) so the following week after i caught him he rebounded to some young 21 that pursued him at the bar and they were together for a month...then after his rebound dumped him for another man....we started talking again....and then a friend of mine who is friends with him on facebook sent me a status of his that said: Goodbye POF....I found the rarest rose you hae to offer and you have nothing more for me ....Life will lead the way naturally from here" so I when I text him and confront him about it, he basically said that the post was about getting rid of a dating site because its BS and that he was not currently seeing anyone....


So fast forward to this past weekend....I couldn't sleep so i randomly text him to see how his thanksgiving was and if he was still up, so he calls me (drunk) and wants me to pick him up, (he told me he was at his parents-that lives 30 minutes away from where i live) and well I guess i misunderstood him or misheard him and turns out he was in the town where i was at, and then this unknown woman (who turns out to be married with 4 kids) gets on his phone and basically tells me : GO HOME!!! B shouldn't be contacting you or calling you. He is seeing someone else!!! GO HOME!!! Then she hangs up on me... Then when I get back to the city, he kept calling and calling me (during the times i answered there were times i just got dead air on the other end) SO finally when i answered his last call, he thought i was avoiding him.....and he still wanted me to pick him up but he was so drunk he didn't know where he was at, and couldn't give me the address (the married woman didn't want me to come pick him up) so she took his phone away from him for the rest of the night, I search for him for 2.5 hours (cause prior to the woman taking his phone away...i had to reactivate my facebook to gps where he was at...but the address he thought he was at wasn't what gps was saying.....so i gave up....then the next day when I ask him if he got a ride home, he said yes...and so i call him if he can talk about what happened last night, and he said he's about to hop in the shower to get ready for the day...the married woman "friend" was with him and at his place....and so i text him telling him that I"m not mad or accusing him of anything....and that i care deeply about him (and what happens to him) and that i don't know why i'm scared of losing him and fighting for him when we aren't even together.....then I told him not to share my texts or show off my texts to anyone because its between us.. and that the only reason i text is because he leaves me no choice to since i can't talk to him face to face......and then,


I get a 2 page text (knowing its NOT him texting me this) that said:

You need to stop and leave me alone I am with another girl and she is amazing and so is her daughter
and she is the one for me...were done and you need to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Move on ur not the one for me
goodbye if you keep harassing me I will get a restraining order....



So i just respond back to his married womans "friend" text and said:

Ok that's all you had to say. I wish you two the best and I hope both of you are very happy together.
Glad you found the one for you.


Then 2 hours later, He finds out what his friend had done and text me saying:
I don't know ok.


So the last thing I texted him with was: ????? Call me later when ur ALONE I'm NOT texting anymore


So today he texts me saying: "A friend had my phone and typed that message yesterday, but yeah,
I have been "talking" to someone, but its nothing serious yet. Have a good day."

I didn't respond back to his message....I don't know what to do. I feel so confused and don't know what to believe. I'm scared to even text him at all because I don't know who he is hanging out with or who's hands his phone will end up in......I want him back, but I don't want to come off desperate and obsessive! I wanna leave the door open for him...but if his married friend didn't send that text, I don't think he would of told me he was talking to someone else and me at the same time.


PS. sorry this this so lengthy, and detailed...don't think there was any way to make it short (although i tried).

Thoughts anyone? what should i do???

[basilandthyme]

There is only one solution to this: he's your ex and it's time to drop him out of your life. Do not contact him and ask him to not contact you. If he persists, then block his number. Delete him from all social media too.

Staying around as one of his harem will only prolong your heartbreak.

[ju1ie]

There is only one solution to this: he's your ex and it's time to drop him out of your life. Do not contact him and ask him to not contact you. If he persists, then block his number. Delete him from all social media too.

Staying around as one of his harem will only prolong your heartbreak.

yeah I deleted him from social media, but don't think I'm ready to cut him off completely...so far, I decided not to text him at all and that if he wants to talk to me, it has to be over the phone or in person. I mean, I still want him in my life weather we are together or not. I don't think I have the heart to cut him out of my life completely.

[Cerby]

I mean, I still want him in my life weather we are together or not. I don't think I have the heart to cut him out of my life completely.

As long as you believe this, the cycle will continue. He doesn't know what he wants, which in short means he wants to keep you around until he finds something concrete with someone he really wants. It is foolish to think that he'll come back to you after all of this, and the fact you keep coming when he calls shows that you're still very much in love with him.

If you want to leave the door open for him, tell him one more time that if he wants you back, to contact you. If he does for any other reason, you don't respond, and pretend he doesn't exist. You need to move on, chasing this is wasting the time you could be getting over this and moving on.

[pcmaster]

This doesnt sound healty anymore. You being reused like a plastic bag. This leads to low confidence and as long you are hanging on to his guy you are fcking it up for next guy who will love you. Infact you are keeping away future by not letting go past.

And isnt thats the most importand thing in new relationship? - Confidence and loving yoursef, knowing your worth.

Eventualy everything goes full cycle. Something crashes but something new comes in place.

If you love him then let him go. Sometimes its the hard to learn not to love, but even this can be easly done when you love yourself.

[RipVanWinkleX]

You will not get him back. We have all had this happen to us, one way or another. You must move on. Do something to get your mind off him.

[ju1ie]

Thanks for the advice and thoughts everyone. Yeah, I. decided to leave it alone... but if he tries to contact me to tell him one final time, to only contact me if he wants a relationship with me. ..otherwise, to not contact me anymore.

[michelle23]

Why do you want a relationship with him after everything hes done these past months? Hes changed and for the worst-hes turned into a sleaze just using women (including you). Do you really want him back knowing that hes slept with at least 3 others since you broke up? It didnt take him v long to replace you. Id be angry and i would tell him to f off and dont ever come back

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[ju1ie]

I know, I feel like a fool for wanting him back...but I'm still very, very, very much in love with the guy..and I guess the only way I would take him back is after bouncing from woman to woman and he doesn't find the unconditional love I gave him from any of them...is when he realizes thatI was his true love all along. in his mind, he wants someone who he can intellectually and mentally click with..but I hope he realizes soon that that doesn't matter.. what matters is how is treated and how he is loved.

[MeloveeNetwork]

As long as you believe this, the cycle will continue. He doesn't know what he wants, which in short means he wants to keep you around until he finds something concrete with someone he really wants. It is foolish to think that he'll come back to you after all of this, and the fact you keep coming when he calls shows that you're still very much in love with him.

If you want to leave the door open for him, tell him one more time that if he wants you back, to contact you. If he does for any other reason, you don't respond, and pretend he doesn't exist. You need to move on, chasing this is wasting the time you could be getting over this and moving on.

[ju1ie]

As long as you believe this, the cycle will continue. He doesn't know what he wants, which in short means he wants to keep you around until he finds something concrete with someone he really wants. It is foolish to think that he'll come back to you after all of this, and the fact you keep coming when he calls shows that you're still very much in love with him.

If you want to leave the door open for him, tell him one more time that if he wants you back, to contact you. If he does for any other reason, you don't respond, and pretend he doesn't exist. You need to move on, chasing this is wasting the time you could be getting over this and moving on.

I know, that's what I'm gonna have to do.

[pcmaster]

Julie, awesome smile in profile picture. Is that you? Is it? If so then you can easly find a good guy. Just give one of these smiles to the guy you like and talk a bit. Have you seen my guide on interacting with girls? Theres a fun diagram in the end. You could start by trying first steps and then just see how it goes, go with a flow.

[michelle23]

I know, I feel like a fool for wanting him back...but I'm still very, very, very much in love with the guy..and I guess the only way I would take him back is after bouncing from woman to woman and he doesn't find the unconditional love I gave him from any of them...is when he realizes thatI was his true love all along. in his mind, he wants someone who he can intellectually and mentally click with..but I hope he realizes soon that that doesn't matter.. what matters is how is treated and how he is loved.

Look up the five stages of grief. Right now your in complete denial. Your sooo desperate to have him back your not thinking about how youd actually feel about this if he came back. Too much damage has been done. Hes treated you like some piece of meat. After 6 years together, how dare he use you for sex. How f**king dare he! He doesnt respect you or love you. Your being a doormat and you need to wake up and realize what a cunt he is!

Stop being so damn desperate! Im sorry for being harsh but you need a reality check. How long more are you gonna let him dangle you on a string like a puppet? Wheres your self respect, your dignity? Your pride?

This guy is a f**king asshole and the sooner you realize it the better!

You need to cut ALL contact with him. Tell him to get out of your life. No matter how much it hurts you need to be STRONG and STOP letting him hurt you. Hell never leave you alone, hell always keep you as some cheap bit on the side while he searches for a new love and then hell drop you like a hot potato.. take control of the situation and put an end to this now before he destroys all your self esteem and leaves you with a deep hatred for men and serious trust issues.

Go and see a counsellor. You need help to get you through this and to stay away from him

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[ju1ie]

Look up the five stages of grief. Right now your in complete denial. Your sooo desperate to have him back your not thinking about how youd actually feel about this if he came back. Too much damage has been done. Hes treated you like some piece of meat. After 6 years together, how dare he use you for sex. How f**king dare he! He doesnt respect you or love you. Your being a doormat and you need to wake up and realize what a cunt he is!

Stop being so damn desperate! Im sorry for being harsh but you need a reality check. How long more are you gonna let him dangle you on a string like a puppet? Wheres your self respect, your dignity? Your pride?

This guy is a f**king asshole and the sooner you realize it the better!

You need to cut ALL contact with him. Tell him to get out of your life. No matter how much it hurts you need to be STRONG and STOP letting him hurt you. Hell never leave you alone, hell always keep you as some cheap bit on the side while he searches for a new love and then hell drop you like a hot potato.. take control of the situation and put an end to this now before he destroys all your self esteem and leaves you with a deep hatred for men and serious trust issues.

Go and see a counsellor. You need help to get you through this and to stay away from him

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Thank you for the "reality check" hun. I really do appreciate your input on this. I do need to hear the harsh truth. I have my doubts that He will contact me again (all of my friends are saying he will eventually contact me) but I have my serious doubts he will contact me/try to see me again (especially if he's "playing the field") and talking to various women He has no reason to contact me. I am getting counseling for this--and take things from there.

[michelle23]

if your tempted to contact him-come here for advice so we can stop you. If he contacts you-come here so we can stop you replying. Hes a douchbag. Hes showing his true colors now and his behaviour is disgusting. If my bf dumped me to "play the field" id lose ALL respect for him and think "this is not the man i fell in love with so i dont want him back"

We mourn every loss and then we move on. I know its cliche but time really does heal all wounds and you need no contact

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