Codependency, fear of commitment (so they choose unlikely partners that won't be easy to commit to) love avoidants, white knight syndrome so they have a need to fix and to be a caregiver and to micromanage... the list goes on.What is it about someone's personality that may lead them to continually attract partners like this---emotionally unstable, domineering, manipulative, etc?
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Or getting stupid advice on how to stay with someone like her. O.o
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
That's giving him advice on how to stay with her is it not?
Anyway, seems you've come back down to earth now, Op. Don't try to get with her and if she comes back to you, then don't take it as she's suddenly become sane and will be a good partner. The issues she has are clear. If you're weak then take this opportunity to block and delete her back... that way you'll not ever have to worry about what she's doing... That is whats in your best interests.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
It was evident that she was "cray cray" long before the spill about the fat guy. The spill about the fat guy just cemented it.
Whatever... deal seems to be done and (hopefully) op is a little more grounded in what the reality of the situation was.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
OP, you're in med school - do you really have time for high maintenance? It doesn't sound like you were that interested anyway - the fact that she shut you out so completely wounded your ego. When she was super keen, you were a wet blanket. She's made up her mind - it's probably for the best.
Not generally, but certainly in her case. She's issued. She's a control freak and whether you like it or not, if she's good looking then she doesnt' waste time with men that, like you didn't drop all his own boundaries and cowtow to her because there is always going to be some young schmuck who is thinking with his dick rather then the good sense he was born with. That's the bottomline.
Forget about her. Know, without a doubt that you've dodged a bullet and then find that woman closer to your own age, who has no children who is not a control freak and who is wanting something settled and serious like you. This woman may have wanted you to cuddle and be more involved but that doesn't mean she's "settled" it just means she has unrealistic dating expectations from someone shes JUST met and hasn't spent much time with.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion