My BF, his b-day, female "friends & now he's mad at me.

[HDBadger]

There is what u said. Now if what u said isnt what u meant thats one thing but no one put words in your mouth. When u say that what op did/does. Makes you view WoMEN as in all of us, as crazy.

Read what I wrote again. You are inferring something that isn't there. And I meant what I wrote...not the convoluted leap of logic you think I wrote. But if it makes you feel better to think what you do, go ahead.

[HDBadger]

Women does not mean all women, its just plural. He meant that is why men give a woman the label crazy, though his statement of it was grammatically correct, even if you didn't follow.

Thanks for knowing how to read.

OP, you really just need to back off before you kill any chance you have with this guy.

[ChloeGirl]

Okay. I will back off because I still think there's a chance. Thanks

[smackie9]

Good luck with that.

[searock]

What does this have to do with self respect?

If you had any self respect you wouldn't be so hung up over a guy that treats you like crap and plays silly games with you.

I call troll.

[michelle23]

Never ever show desperation. Thats what youve been doing the past 48 hours. Hes gone. Move on

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[Wakeup]

What does this have to do with self respect?

You've lost ALL of yours by the way you've been acting. Do you really not know that?

We do all of those things but we haven't officially said we are dating.

Then quit calling him all together and see if if wonders where you got to. Don't hold your breath and in the meantime, go out with some of those "lots of prospects" and stop clinging to someone who hasn't even committed to you. Get to the point where you don't give a crap about him whether he calls you or not. You need to regain your personal power, dignity, control and confidence... all of which you've allowed him to take away from you... and you've allowed it when you've not even had the exclusive talk.

Time to back off and exercise your options and let him fade.

[ChloeGirl]

If you had any self respect you wouldn't be so hung up over a guy that treats you like crap and plays silly games with you.

I call troll.

Because I don't agree with you, you're going to call me out my name? Grow up and don't bother to give advice on my situation until you do.

[Wakeup]

^^^ The very fact that you singled out one person who called you an attention seeking troll gives credibility to the label.
Please... you've gotten lots of good advise on what you should do about him and about your own behaviour. Is there anything else you'd like to know about this particular situation or have you read enough now to change YOU? You can't change him but you can certainly change you by getting away from him and learning to dump men who are'nt even valuing you.

Good luck.

[ChloeGirl]

I think it's very childish to imply that I was troll because I disagreed with her. She wasn't being helpful as you were so there's no need for her to post.

I text him again last night and he replied. I said, "Are you over me baby? Please don't be. I want to make it right and I'll do better. I f'd up". He replied, "I'm mad at you. You do have a lot of making it right to do. I can't help liking you but You really disappointed me". I replied and said, "I know". That was it. Now I am going to take the advise of some of you and give him some space. I have the feeling that maybe we can make it work if I change my crazyness. I'm a good girl but I do need to work on some things so I'll be sure to focus on myself for the better. I also feel as if the ball is in my court at this point. If I don't chase him or make up the way he thinks I should then he will pursue me harder because he's expecting me to do whatever it takes at this point but I just want to maintain my self respect. I'm not trying to play games but I do want everything to be equal in the pursue of our relationship.

[Ugly_Swan]

O god....this is a mess. lol.

ChloeGirl--I don't think he expects a lot from you. If anything I think he expects NOTHING.

When you asked him how he would feel if you slept with others and he said "don't be silly"...you just ASSUMED he meant "of course I'd be hurt, you know how deeply I feel about you" or some shit like that--but it was an assumption. He had a very casual, vague response. You know what that tells me? He doesn't care if you sleep with others.....but you just read into it what you want....(how do I know this? because I, myself, have used a vague response in the past to get a guy off my back about something he wasn't entitled to in the first place)

Like others commented, there was no official BF/GF status--you just inferred it.

Why would you even want/like a guy with female friends????

I think he just got tired of your insecurity especially because he doesn't really NEED you in his life or anything. And I know it's hurtful and unfair that even though you've been nice to him helped him etc. that it means nothing on whether he wants to be with you (I learned the hard way, too)--but you gotta take this as a lesson and next time only be helpful/nice to the guys that appreciate you and want you. I.e. make them pay upfront--don't be a perfect GF without them having worked for anything yet.

You have been sending him extremely desperate texts. And acting like you guys were a couple and like you owe him something....to be honest you didn't do anything THAT wrong. You even went to the club after realizing you may have made a mistake and already apologized numerous times. If he really wanted to make up he would've replied earlier.

He is now again stringing you along and giving you hope that you can fix things--because then you will again run around like a little puppy being nice to him and give him sex with nothing in return.

Self-respect is so important. Please just let it go. Go on a dating detox and cut off all contact for at least a month. THEN when your head is clearer come back and think on the situation.

[searock]

I text him again last night and he replied. I said, "Are you over me baby? Please don't be. I want to make it right and I'll do better. I f'd up". He replied, "I'm mad at you. You do have a lot of making it right to do. I can't help liking you but You really disappointed me". I replied and said, "I know". That was it. Now I am going to take the advise of some of you and give him some space. I have the feeling that maybe we can make it work if I change my crazyness. I'm a good girl but I do need to work on some things so I'll be sure to focus on myself for the better. I also feel as if the ball is in my court at this point. If I don't chase him or make up the way he thinks I should then he will pursue me harder because he's expecting me to do whatever it takes at this point but I just want to maintain my self respect. I'm not trying to play games but I do want everything to be equal in the pursue of our relationship.

So dysfunctional. Can't you see how condescending and controlling he is? Seriously?

Chloe, I did give you good advice. Cut off contact with him and get professional help. Everyone else here has been giving you the same advice.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think this is totally fixable, and you should do whatever it takes to win him back. Pull out all the stops. Surprise him, and show up at his house with home-cooked dinner. He'll love it and probably forget he was ever mad.

[Wakeup]

I think it's very childish to imply that I was troll because I disagreed with her. She wasn't being helpful as you were so there's no need for her to post.

I text him again last night and he replied. I said, "Are you over me baby? Please don't be. I want to make it right and I'll do better. I f'd up". He replied, "I'm mad at you. You do have a lot of making it right to do. I can't help liking you but You really disappointed me". I replied and said, "I know". That was it. Now I am going to take the advise of some of you and give him some space. I have the feeling that maybe we can make it work if I change my crazyness. I'm a good girl but I do need to work on some things so I'll be sure to focus on myself for the better. I also feel as if the ball is in my court at this point. If I don't chase him or make up the way he thinks I should then he will pursue me harder because he's expecting me to do whatever it takes at this point but I just want to maintain my self respect. I'm not trying to play games but I do want everything to be equal in the pursue of our relationship.

Gurlfriend... you are soooooo in denial. You can spin it anyway you want but this guy knows what buttons to push to make you think that you need to keep trying harder. You should have told him that "you know" but you should have added you're a player and I'm done with your shit and then told him that he can quit bothering you with his manipulation because you're blocking and deleting him from your life."

You are one of many and he's honed you into being an emotional wreck that will keep trying and trying to WIN him when he doesn't want to be won... at least not by you, love. He plays you and you fall for it everytime.

Shit happens... dating is about finding out who is and who isn't good for you and who values and treats you well. You've just found out that you're not good for one another and yet he tells you that you should just keep trying. WTF is wrong with you that you'd want to when he's driven you to act like a crazy woman?

Tell him to go eff himself or better yet. Just don't let him hoover you back for more of the same by blocking, deleting, ignoring and then working on YOU. You can't fix this and I'm pretty sure that your behaviour has nothing to do with him being a player, manipulator, womanizer, proclivitor (is that a word??) of non-monogamy.

[michelle23]

Y are you concluding hes a player? Did i miss something?

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