Hi everyone,
Greetings from rainy Seattle. I have been married for over 10 years with 3 kids. It will be 11 this New Year's eve. I am in a loving relationship but I have a serious problem in my marriage that I just can't overcome. My wife and I have a fairly healthy sex life, although it has unfortunately been confined to our bedroom, we still are quite into each other.
Simply put, my wife won't swallow my semen. She won't even take it in her mouth for the most part. When she performs oral, she will close her lips when I ejaculate. It really bothers me. I mean really bothers me. I love her deeply. I do not want to and will not consider divorce, but I have tried communicating over the years to her how important this is to me sexually. Although I know in my mind she loves me, I feel "unloved". Even more than that, I feel unaccepted in entirety.
I blame myself for having sex before marriage and the fact that in all of my previous relationships the women would do this for me. Maybe if I didn't receive this before I got married things would be different. I wish I wouldn't have had women who swallowed semen during my dating years. This is my fault I think more than anyones for wanting this. I know I sound extremely selfish for wanting this, and for feeling this way, but I do. I wish that I didn't feel this way but I do. I feel that I am not accepted by my wife, the woman I love... and it is killing me inside.
I perform oral on her willingly and like to do it. I would eat her 'poop' if it pleased her sexually. Thankfully, she doesn't want that though....
I believe it is a texture thing for her and less of a taste issue. I am not in shape nor out of shape. Simply an average man. We eat healthy and we are both drug and disease free.
I have tried communicating this to my wife many, many, many times. Sometimes I do it in an understanding fashion, and sometimes I get fed up and it causes arguments. For the most part I do try to convey my issue in a calm and collected manner.
I don't know what to do anymore and I need some help fast. It is beginning to drive a wedge in my relationship and I need help badly.
Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated.
Signed,
Swallowless In Seattle