I just had the " I need space talk" ? ? ? ? ?

[smiling100]

Day 24 NC.

At least i'm kinda enjoying my sleep/falling to sleep. If I wake up through the night i'm relaxed & can seem to deal with it.

Then when I wake up in the morning it's bizarre as I feel the flood gates open & I start thinking of her straight away.

It's like oh no here we go again!

How can someone that has the gift to make me so happy have the gift to make me so unhappy? I assume i'm in the early stages of this grief right now & things will get better. That's what gives me hope that I know I'll get over this situation I have found myself in.

[PatriciaQT]

maybe she doesnt need space, maybe she needs you to be less clingy, let her go ut with her friends.
let her do shit on her own.
go hang with your own friends on your own.

just be a cool dude.

if she cheats on you
she isnt worth it.

If she just needs her privacy and off time give it to her.


Youve got a woman telling you what she wants in life.
thats someone right there who still cares about communicating with you!

be good to her

[smiling100]

maybe she doesnt need space, maybe she needs you to be less clingy, let her go ut with her friends.
let her do shit on her own.
go hang with your own friends on your own.

just be a cool dude.

if she cheats on you
she isnt worth it.

If she just needs her privacy and off time give it to her.


Youve got a woman telling you what she wants in life.
thats someone right there who still cares about communicating with you!

be good to her

She broke it off with me over 3 weeks ago I gave her her space, I only text her once in the two weeks.

All she needed was some space so she could wein herself off me. I was naive to believe that needing space would actually give me a chance of making this work. In hindsight I should of broke it off with her when I said i'd hang around for her while I sit in limbo for a few weeks.

This is now my journal on my healing

[violet11]

Smiling, I think it will help you if you try to find the positives in the relationship... it's easier to move on when you havnet accumulated baggage. The relationship I'm in now has very little chance of working out, but I believe I can move forward, because I've learned from everything that's happened. It makes sense to me, and I've become a better person through it.

Figure out what you can learn from this relationship. There's no point in just blaming her... that leads to resentment and baggage. If you can accept your part in it then it will pave the way to a much happier future union with the right person.

[smackie9]

Dude you need to fight off those thoughts of her....get up and do something to distract you. That is why keeping busy, finding new interesting things to do helps loads to let things like that pass.

[smiling100]

Smiling, I think it will help you if you try to find the positives in the relationship... it's easier to move on when you havnet accumulated baggage. The relationship I'm in now has very little chance of working out, but I believe I can move forward, because I've learned from everything that's happened. It makes sense to me, and I've become a better person through it.

Figure out what you can learn from this relationship. There's no point in just blaming her... that leads to resentment and baggage. If you can accept your part in it then it will pave the way to a much happier future union with the right person.

Thanks guys

What i've learnt is I should not of got involved with her/anyone after she just came out of something 6 weeks earlier. I still remember asking her was she ready for a relationship on our first date so soon & she said yes. Her actual words were "I was born ready".

I really got sucked in. She was buying me clothes, treating me really well, telling me how much she liked me etc etc. I know she wanted to make it work but at the end of the day it was to soon & she was forcing this relationship to work in the end & that's when she turned cold.

I know you are right. I know I am still in the early stages of working this out. I know she didn't hurt me on purpose. I want to forgive her. I guess I feel like a fool at the moment.

I want to process these thoughts & in time I can heal. That's the plan.

If I ever bump into her again I want to be back to my happy self & show her I am fine. If I saw her at the moment it would only confirm to her she made the right decision as i've lost weight & not looking my healthy self.


Any more advice is greatly appreciated. I want to move on from this part of my life asap

[smiling100]

Made it to 30 days NC.

Of course i'd like to contact her but I can't see anything good coming out of it. Good thing is I really have no idea what she is up to & I havn't dared even looked at her facebook. If I found out she is dating someone else already i'd be crushed.

Surely as hard as it is i'm doing the right thing & on the path to recovery?

Still feeling a shell of myself & can't wait for the xmas & new years to come & go as it's going to feel bland without her.

Hopefully by day 100 i'll be feeling alot better than I am now!

[violet11]

I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering

Thanks guys

What i've learnt is I should not of got involved with her/anyone after she just came out of something 6 weeks earlier. I still remember asking her was she ready for a relationship on our first date so soon & she said yes. Her actual words were "I was born ready".

I really got sucked in. She was buying me clothes, treating me really well, telling me how much she liked me etc etc. I know she wanted to make it work but at the end of the day it was to soon & she was forcing this relationship to work in the end & that's when she turned cold.

I know you are right. I know I am still in the early stages of working this out. I know she didn't hurt me on purpose. I want to forgive her. I guess I feel like a fool at the moment.

I want to process these thoughts & in time I can heal. That's the plan.

If I ever bump into her again I want to be back to my happy self & show her I am fine. If I saw her at the moment it would only confirm to her she made the right decision as i've lost weight & not looking my healthy self.

Any more advice is greatly appreciated. I want to move on from this part of my life asap

Well, my advice is always going to be left of field from other's but here goes...

I think there's more to learn from this relationship than simply "don't get involved with people on the rebound". We always need to take some responsibility for why things didnt work out. That might sound harsh, but I think until you understand your role in the relationship you wont truly move on or grow from this.

Also, what is it about this breakup that's making you suffer so much? Do you miss *her*, or the way she made you feel? Have you ever been broken up with before?

Just some thoughts... Sending you positive vibes.

[smiling100]

I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering



Well, my advice is always going to be left of field from other's but here goes...

I think there's more to learn from this relationship than simply "don't get involved with people on the rebound". We always need to take some responsibility for why things didnt work out. That might sound harsh, but I think until you understand your role in the relationship you wont truly move on or grow from this.

Also, what is it about this breakup that's making you suffer so much? Do you miss *her*, or the way she made you feel? Have you ever been broken up with before?

Just some thoughts... Sending you positive vibes.

Thanks Violet. I don't think you are being harsh at all


Yes I miss her. I am in that mindset that "she was the one" for me.

I know in reality this isn't true but that's where I am at the moment. I keep telling myself if we were really meant for each other she would not of broken it off with me. She did have her flaws. Couldn't seem to relax & over analysed everything but it was something about her (apart from her looks) that obviously attracted me to her.

I was in a happy place when I met her & she could tell. I knew she was physically attracted to me & the chemistry was there. Then I started to rely on her to make me happy & this is where I probably had a part in pushing her away as she sensed she was in control of us.

Now that I haven't got her I am suffering the consequences as in withdrawal. I want to get over this & I know I can't rush it so I need to give it time.

I've been broken up with a few times though I usually have done the breaking up the majority of the time.