This Will Surpise You

**ALovelyLady86** · 21-05-05, 11:43 PM

Many of you have seen over time how prude I am. What I'm about to post might suprise you, and maybe even change your mind on your opinions about me...

Many of you knew about the wonderful guy, Josh, I dated and how he and I broke it off because of the long distance situation. Well I have something to admit, and I never thought I would because I am so prude...
He and I did have sex. With protection of course. We only did it once, and I told him I regretted it and wish it never happened, and ever since I've lied to everyone and told everyone we didnt have intercourse. I was ashamed. Chris was the only guy I had ever been with, I lost my virginity to him and made love to only him for the longest time. Now I did this... and its killing me. I know its not really a bad thing, but I feel like it is a bad thing. I know I'm not a slut, and I wouldnt do this ever again, but I really feel so terrible...

Heres my problem
After Josh and I broke up, coincidentally, Chris sends me a Text Message saying only these words "Love You" When I say after, I mean right as me and Josh said lets break this off, my cell notified me of the TM... very weird.
Naturally I called Chris. He told me he was sorry he got so upset when I told him I found someone else, that he still had feelings for me. I told Chris that its okay because now Josh and I arent together anymore. I think Chris was happy to hear that and after a few minutes of talking he decided to come over. We made love... it was so beautiful, so much touching, lots of eye contact, it really was just... very sweet and kind of spiritual. The kind of love making you see in the movies. He sensed I was afraid and told me not to be, that everything is okay. I really could see it in his eyes. The problem was..I didnt feel any emotions during this love making. I was so afraid that I would end up falling for him again and the whole routine of getting together and breaking up would happen all over again.
He took me out to eat for lunch the same day and we made love 2 more times that day....without protection. And, at the end of the day when I looked into his eyes.. I felt something. I just hugged him and told him I wanted to thank him for being here for me. He told me he went on a date with a girl while Josh and I dated,and I told him I was happy for him and if thats what he wants to tell me. He just looked at me.. and kissed me.
Heres the thing, he and I have never used protection except for maybe the first 6 months we knew each other. Pregnancy was never even thought about I guess because he and his ex wife tried for 5 years to have a child and he couldnt make one. He doesnt say hes sterile, but I believe he is.
I have two problems here:
1) Should I tell him about the sex with Josh? Or since thats in the past, and I know it was a mistake, should I let it go?
2) This morning I woke up and felt sick, my breasts are very tender... I'm supposed to be due a period in the next week..could it be that or could I be pregnant? I know I'm paranoid.. so I need to settle down huh

I swear I've felt like such an idiot for these past weeks.. ever since me and Josh did what we did. I will never ever do it again. Chris did tell me that he didnt care what Josh and I did, that he missed me too much to care... but I dont believe him. Chris is too jealous for that. I dont know if I should feel bad, I mean Chris and I were broken up at the time, had been for 6 months. I feel like a game of tug of war right now... What should I do?

**Converse** · 21-05-05, 11:54 PM

I don't know what to say really, I'm really crap at advice. But it is highly unliky that you're pregnant as you used protection. Those symptoms just sound like period symptoms, because that's what I get. Good luck hun!

**ALovelyLady86** · 22-05-05, 12:09 AM

I didnt use protection though... not with Chris. This is about to make me crazy hehe...

**Converse** · 22-05-05, 12:14 AM

Ahhh sorry, I'm not the brightest of people hehe. You should have taken the morning after pill. If you're late then do a test, I always think it take's a while to get pregnant so I doubht you are. Try not to worry too much though or it'll make your period later.

**Kiechi** · 22-05-05, 12:40 AM

Thats really surpising!

**ALovelyLady86** · 22-05-05, 12:57 AM

Right I know... I'm going to a church function today so that should help get my mind off of it. The problem with me is I dont normally have signs that I'm about to start my monthly... i.e. cramps, mood swings...

**ALovelyLady86** · 22-05-05, 12:59 AM

ok Keichi I dont know what I did to you but I would appreciate the smart comments being kept to yourself...

I mean you might as well vent your hatred towards me somewhere else cause I'm no longer going to respond to ya...

Anyhoo yes the people who know me would be quite suprised if they found out..

**COAD** · 22-05-05, 01:04 AM

Why are you that innocent?

ThisIsSuchAPity · 22-05-05, 01:05 AM

Hmm... you say you don't usually get signs before? Well I now I do. I get very sick and feel nasous. And I know a lot of other people who get this also. Maybe you are just now getting this too lol? I really don't know. All I have to say(which is obvious advice) is that if you don't get your period the week your supposed to, then get a home pregnancy test. But for now I wouldn't worry about it too much. You could just be paranoid about it right now. Just keep yourself busy and your mind on other things.

Hope I helped you out a little bit

Jamie

**ALovelyLady86** · 22-05-05, 01:21 AM

No one seems to be answering my main question which is should I tell Chris about this?

ThisIsSuchAPity · 22-05-05, 01:28 AM

Ah yes I seemed to have forgotten about that part. If it bothers your conscience then yes I'd tell him. If you feel that it isn't a big deal then I don't necessarily see why you would tell him. It's up to you. If you think it is something he'd want to know about then go on and tell him. Or if you think he would be indifferent to the news then don't worry yourself about it.

**COAD** · 22-05-05, 01:34 AM

Go ahead tell him, Since you werent dating him at the time, You had ALL the rights to do that.

**ALovelyLady86** · 22-05-05, 01:59 AM

True... I guess it just bothers me cause he was the only one... I lost my innocense to him and I kinda wanted it to stay that way. But hey this is life things change huh

**COAD** · 22-05-05, 02:21 AM

Hey, we all make our mistakes in life - Im pretty sure he has made his, those you donno about

If hes a smart guy, Im pretty sure he will understand.

Good Luck with that!

**COAD** · 22-05-05, 02:22 AM

btw, You got that year of the tiger tag, how do i find out, the year of "who" i was born lol?

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