Ex broke up with me and went back to a cheating ex

[mongol3]

So I was going out with my ex for 6 months. It was all good until the last month when she was stressed out from work, a new home, and the passing of her cat which she has had since she was 4. All she had was her cat and mother her whole life. We both had different schedules and she ended up being distant after the death and stress. She said I wasnt there for her while mourning the cat and the house move. I told her that i kept on texting her about such to see if she was ok and if she needed anything and that im here for her. I told her even prior to the house moving that all she needs to do is ask me for help when she needs it so we can schedule it with our work schedules being different. After all of that, it seemed like I wasnt there enough but I felt there was a lack of communication on her part. I would text her everyday and barely get a response. After that, she told me that I should have just been there. From there it seemed like the downfall. The drift continued a bit more with my texting her everything/everyday trying to comfort her with not much of a response. It was actually hurting me. I eventually said that at this stage she wasnt ready for a relationship right now and she agreed. She said she still wanted to keep in touch (which was here and there). A month later, I was still holding on to her and was wondering about trying it out again and we can fix w/e issues we had. Come to find out that she had been communicating with her cheating ex now and now 2 months later, it seems they are together. I was gonna meet up for dinner with her but eventaully didnt after finding out about this. I want her back so bad... but all she would tell me is that she did love me and still cares for me but something was missing. It hurts me to see that the ex is with her now getting another chance and not me. What can I hope for? Will she realize that I actually was a great/good bf (which she admitted) and maybe come back to me in a matter of time. I feel the cheating ex has all the advantage, he missed up and now realized how amazing she is and I fear he will never do anything wrong to her again. I still love her... I told her that I didnt write her off, lose sight of her, stop loving her, all I wanted to do at the time was stop the bleeding, the hurt I was feeling from her being distant.

Interesting note, as I was gushing all of this out, im pretty sure she relayed our convo to her ex. Something she does when she is in a relationship.

I want her back.... is there a glimmer of hope with time?

I also think went she mentioned something was missing, it could have been her happiness with everything that was going on. I like to think we were always joyous with each other until the cat and house

[basilandthyme]

Mongol, I'm sorry you lost her. Though if she's flighty enough to return to her previous ex, you could probably also steal her back again if you tried hard. But could you trust her to leave him alone? Trusting her to stay with you would be a very risky proposition.

Just as an aside, I'd like to offer you some insight into the likely reasons why she said you weren't there for her.

You know how you kept texting and telling her to just ask if she needed anything? It wasn't enough. Thing is, she probably wanted you to say "I've moved my schedule so that I can help you move next weekend" or "I know you're sad about the cat, I've moved my schedule so that we can have a nice video and pizza night in"

If you want to be there for someone, don't tell them to ask if they need help. Instead, take the initiative to actually help them.

[mongol3]

i wish i had done so now...

and i cant get through her. she doesnt respond back to ex's once in a relationship. This ex was actually texting her when i was with her, she didnt reply at all. baerly got a response recently for some closure

[mongol3]

and me and the ex know each other

[hatesthis]

The cheating ex sounds like something she doesn't have to worry about, she knows he is a cheat and probably doesn't love her like you do, so he is easier for her in some ways. Less commitment, more fun, idk. If she chose a cheater over you who I assume was faithful, then let her have the cheater, he will cheat again and again on her, she knows this but it is what she wants now.

[mongol3]

I feel as if she feels more for him than me at the moment and the she see he has changed. Im trying not to contact at the moment but im still willing to fight for her