This is just messed up.

[Mind1979]

Hi everyone!

Im not even sure this is the right section to post this in , or even the right forum for that matter. I just need to get this off my chest and i hope i came to the right place.
I'm a 34 year old guy from Holland , and im just not in a good place right now so let me explain.
About 2 years ago i got quite depressed about my life for various reasons , things were just not going my way ; my girlfriend left me , i lost my job and my mother passed away , all this in a timespan of about 3 months.
I did find some refuge in a mmorpg ( online computergame) , and well it took my mind off things aswell. That's where i met a girl online , we started playing the game together , talking to eachother about various stuff.
This soon evolved into a very good online friendship , we shared our problems we sent eachother pictures and basically talked to eachother for 2 years every single day.
Now , i never thought this could be possible , to get feelings for a girl you only saw in pictures and never even met in the real world , but it happened anyways.
Now i can tell all kinds of stuff on how far this all went , but lets just say she was my best friend for 2 years. I could share things with her i didnt want to share with family and friends. Im gonna cut to ther chase here because else this would
be a far too long read. I can ofcourse answer questions if people would like to know certain things.
Two weeks ago it turned all out to be a big lie , the girl was in fact a guy who has been pretending to be a girl online for many years but he never got caught. The girls identity he used was infact a close friend to his family , wich makes it all even more bizar. I can't even explain to you people how mind****ed i am looking at this sweet girls picture but not knowing her at all , while i thought i did for 2 years. The right thing to do for me was inform the real girl about what a friend of hers has been doing. i was able to get in touch with her , showing her proof on how i found out , showed her all the pictures he sent me of her. We talked for 3 hours about this , she was very grateful that i told her and we said goodbye.
Now what has happened is ,, that weirdly enough i still have feelings for her even if i dont know her at all. I tried to reason with myself on how feeling like that makes no sence at all , but i just can't get rid of it ; i desperately want to get to know this girl but at same time i realise i can't , it would just be too weird for her. So now im wondering if anyone has any advice for me on how to deal with this situation , its on my mind 24/7...

Thanks in advance.

[smackie9]

Wow you must feel so gutted. So sorry you were victimized by such a horrible prank, but your situation is very common.

My advice as follows, grieve your loss first, give yourself time to heal. Take time out to get out with friends, socialize in real life, not on a computer. This might have been a blessing for you....for 2 years you have shut yourself away playing video games, now you can take this and turn it into an opportunity to start making some positive changes in your life. Get out there doing new things, connect with old friends, or even make new ones, join a club, get into an activity that puts you in a social setting.....then this is help you meet someone to share your life with.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You got catfished. There's a show dedicated to this whole scenario, and it is ****ing brilliant.

Deal with your problems instead of hiding on World of Warcraft. Date local.

[smackie9]

Any one remember the movie Joy Ride? same idea but with a CB radio lol. Caaaandi caaaaaane!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I forgot all about that movie! Classic.

[smackie9]

I forgot all about that movie! Classic.

Ya I just watched it, just before Paul Walker got killed. The movie was awesome....lots of fun.

[ChloeGirl]

He was gorgeous wasn't he?

OP, date local. Realize and accept that she wasn't real. That's a start. Get in activities. Get a life. Take it as a lesson learned.

[michelle23]

Its a blessing in disguise this happened. An online fantasy relationship with someone you never met is unhealthy and you know it is. Be thankful you had this to help you with your grief but now its time to get back to the real world. Turn off your computer and start socializing. You will meet someone new when your ready